Complex film critic Ayo! Scott can't be bothered with screenings, so he's reviewing movies based on the trailer alone.

Martin Scorsese's beady little eyes are full of judgment. Perhaps you couldn't see because they're obscured by the wildly overgrown 1970s bush he passes off as eyebrows, but this so-called icon of film is looking down on you. In 1976's Taxi Driver, he judged you for enjoying the pleasures of an underage junkie whore (what happened to different strokes for different folks, right?). Now, with his latest thriller anti-drug propaganda film, Shutter Island, he'd have you feel bad for using hallucinogenics at work. And how exactly is Ayo! Scott supposed to write a review without peyote, narc?

Boy-faced Leonardo DiCaprio is one of two U.S. marshals investigating the disappearance of a patient at a mental hospital—for the criminally insane!—where employees got jobs despite not being able to count all the way to 47 (there are either 46 or 47 patients and nobody seems sure which it is). Eventually, because life on an island with nutters gets boring, LDC accepts some pills from the staff, and that's when shit gets really crazy. Dosed up, he has a long, strange bad trip and questions his own sanity as he sees horrible things, like flying papers, a burning house, and Michelle Williams with really ashy skin. Scary stuff to be sure, but the sobriety fascist's correlation between drugs and mental instability is tired old bullshit. Seriously, Ayo! wrote all this on PCP and hasn't jumped out the window yet. Check out the trailer for yourself below to see what Ayo! is talking about...

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