R.I.P. John Hughes.
A moment of silence, please. Yesterday, John Hughes, the genius behind '80s and '90s comedy classics such as Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Planes, Trains & Automobiles, and Home Alone, died of a heart attack at age 59. On second thought, fuck a moment of silence. Let's honor the man with something a little more fitting, like 90 minutes of laughter. Fortunately Hughes, who stopped directing in 1991 but kept writing and producing, left us with a handful of rumored unproduced screenplays that could still some day be turned into comedic bangers. Complex takes a closer look at them to see if there are any potential jewels...
RUMORED TITLE: Bartholomew Vs. Neff
Hughes's Idea: Sylvester Stallone and John Candy play feuding neighbors.
Complex Says: Catchy title. Rolls right off the tongue, like cookie dough with razor blades in it. The warring neighbors angle has worked before, but this one is doomed, considering that Hughes and Candy are both dead and steroids are the only thing keeping Sly's corpse upright.
RUMORED TITLE: Jaws 3: People 0
Hughes's Idea: A parody of the popular monster shark series.
Complex says: Duh-duh-duh-duh. The title alone has teeth.
RUMORED TITLE: The Bee
Hughes's Idea: A feature-length Disney film about, you guessed it, a bee.
Complex Says: We hope Jerry Seinfeld knows how much the estate of John Hughes appreciates his making over $300 million with this idea. We're sure he really needed that cake to get a couple thousand more pair of white-on-white walking shoes
RUMORED TITLE: The Grisbeys
Hughes's Idea: A wealthy family goes broke suddenly and has to spend Christmas on the other side of the tracks.
Complex Says: In the recession, with hatred for the rich so palpable, this one smells like a winner. Urine and garbage can fires too.
RUMORED TITLE: The History of Ohio From The Beginning Of Time To The End Of The Universe
Hughes's Idea: Um, a comedic chronicle of the history of Ohio from the beginning of time to the end of the universe?
Complex Says: As long as it includes a complete and detailed history of Halle Berry's twos (the pride of Cleveland), we're sure it'd tickle funny bones.