After months of breathless anticipation, we're pleased to announce that this month finally marks the premiere of Seducing Cindy, a reality show on which Internet model and Playboy cover girl Cindy Margolis—now 44, and with her three kids in tow—looks for love in a group of dudes that includes a "graphic novel reader," a "Tupac impersonator," and a "musician with goatee." Seriously, that's how they're referring to these guys. Not that that's why you'd be keeping your Friday nights free to tune in, of course. You may know Cindy by her endlessly-trumpeted moniker, "Most Downloaded Woman on the Internet," a title that may have meant something in the days before broadband and streaming video but now feels kinda quaint, like your aunt who "used to be a looker" but now "has duck lips and wears low-cut sweaters to the laundromat."
We're not trying to hate, though; we fondly remember Cindy's mid-'90s reign at the top. But there's been plenty of turnover in the past 15 years (yes, you've been "enjoying" pictures of hot women on the Internet for more than a decade), from A-list actresses to softcore models, and we think that Cindy's show is the perfect occasion to examine her competition. Take a look and cast your vote for the true empress of the series of tubes we call
our pants the Internet. Form an orderly line, ladies, there's room for all of you on our hard drive...
• She was a nice (blonde) Jewish girl who wouldn't take her top off. Just like summer camp, but on your computer!