Continuing on their quest to give the most undeserving people airtime for the sole comedic enjoyment of the viewing public, tonight at 10 PM MTV is airing their latest masterpiece: Jersey Shore. Building off of the hilarious episode of True Life, Jersey Shore will focus on the lifestyle of the predominately Italian-American kids who frequent the Jersey Shore and what they do while they're down there. Sounds good, right? Well, not to UNICO, the largest Italian-American organization in the country. They've been doing everything they can to get the show shelved, stating that it depicts Italian-Americans in a negative light. In other words, they're afraid of MTV exploiting the Guido image.
Too bad none of the kids on the show feel the same way. One cast member was even quoted as saying, "Everybody that's young, if we hear the term Guido, in our circles, it's like a good-looking Italian guy." So there. The idea of what a guido is has even changed over time, from an Italian-American who is involved with the crime world to, well, the descendents of those guys who now rock fake tans, blowed-out hair and tweeze their eyebrows—you know who we're talking about. We went back through time and picked some of the biggest moments in Guido pop culture history to show just how much shit has changed...
No blowouts or plucked eyebrows, just murder and racketeering. Gangster? Yes. Guido? Undoubtedly.
Guidos weren't always limited to Long Island, New York and New Jersey. Happy Days' resident Guido managed to make his presence known in Wisconsin with loud boasts, louder hair and bravado...nothing like the new generation of guidos.
If there's one thing Guidos love to do, it's dance. As they eased out of their gangster phase, guidos took to song and dance to attract the attention of girls, most famously in Grease. Now they do the first pump, but back in the day they needed the whole package. Pause.
Goodfellas attempted to humanize the gangster guido by giving them a sense of humor. If there was ever a guido award show, Joe Pesci would be a dead ringer for host.
MY COUSIN VINNIE
They may stay by the beach, but in reality, guidos hate nature. Think about it, all that hair spray and lip gloss ain't good for the earth, and who's gonna work on their eyebrows if they go on a camping trip? Huh, tough guy?
TOMMY (TRUE LIFE: I HAVE SUMMER SHARE)
Meet Tommy. Tommy has a summer share down the Jersey Shore. When he goes down there, "dropping the hammer", wearing all white, cheeseballs and "tearing it up" to bad techno music as you can see in the clip above. Classy, real, classy.
TRUE LIFE: I'M A JERSEY SHORE GIRL
Guido guys are bad enough, but Guido girls are an entirely different animal. Thanks to the Season 6 episode of MTV's True Life, we found out that they're loud, bitchy, overly tanned, self-centered prima donnas who—well, wait a minute, maybe their not so different after all.
GROWING UP GOTTI
If one show marked the arrival of the new guido, it was this. The show centered around Victoria Gotti, daughter of infamous mob boss John Gotti, and her three sons. Thankfully the show was canceled after 41 episodes, but not before we saw her as the grown spoiled brat that she was, and her sons as the super soft, super spoiled, super tanned and super annoying that they were. We prayed and prayed they would get robbed, but, sadly, it never happened.
January 9th, 2006 was a sad day for New Jersey when the above photo of Lee Hotti and his friends was posted to the internet. The stereotypical guido picture, showed Lee, his brothers and boys in all their tanned glory "living it" presumably in some NJ Shore club. The internet went nuts, reposting the picture all over the Net and even going as far as to make a mock website called LeeHotti.com.
GUIDO THE CAR
Now, we all know Disney has a history of racial insensitivity, but how the hell did this make it the final cut of the script? In their (and Pixars) 2006 mega-hit, Cars one of the characters is an Italian tow-truck who doesn't seem to have all his bolts screwed tight and can't seem to speak proper English. And his name just happened to be Guido. Really? We guess goombah was just too inflammatory.
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