Dallas Mavs forward Dirk Nowitzki may not have 99 problems, but it seems his baby mama might be one. Apparently his girlfriend Cristal Taylor is pregnant, which is bad enough...but then add the fact that she's currently locked up in Beaumont, TX on charges of fraud, forgery and probation violation. Ouch. Somebody should've done a little background checkitzki before wetting that jumper!

But the really sad part for poor Dirk is that he bypassed a great selection of smokin' Teutonic chronic from his native Germany! Halfway around the world, aspiring German basketball players are getting lectured by their mothers: "You zee vhat happens vhen you do zhe horizontal polka vith zose American girls? Zhem Yankee frauleins ist sieben dreissig!" As a public service to those young ballers—as well as you readers—we present the 9 Hottest German Women...

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#9. Sandra Bullock
Claim to Fame: The daughter of a German opera singer, Ess-Bee's played Keanu Reeve's love interest in three movies, but we won't hold it against her. On the contrary, what we'd like to hold against her is...a nice cold compress. You know, in case she got a headache or something.
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Julia Stegner
Claim to Fame: Known for covers in Elle Magazine and countless advertising campaigns, she's now the new face for Mercedes-Benz. We'd check under her hood waaaaay before the limited warranty ran out.

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