WHAT’S THE CRAZIEST THING YOU'VE SMUGGLED THROUGH CUSTOMS?
“I once got past a drug-sniffing dog by stuffing a half-ounce worth of pre-rolled spliffs inside rolls of a certain kind of candies that have holes in them. That day I learned that it’s OK to stick your joint in a sticky sweet hole.”
“Pretty much every time I go through customs, I mess up and get put in the red zone because I traveled with a Peruvian apple or something.”
WHICH REALITY SHOW IS THE "REALEST"?
“The realest reality TV show hasn’t been made yet. I’m still waiting on So You Think You Can Fix the Economy.”
“Well, I watch The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. ABC recycles the people who get turned down in the final rose ceremony, so you go on their journey to find love and feel sad for them. Secretly, I’m a romantic, a bit of a love addict. I think I’m gonna start going to meetings.”
WHAT IS THE MOST YOU'VE WON OR LOST GAMBLING?
“I’ve made millions and I’ve lost millions, but I gamble in business. Fuck being passive, allowing fate or a roll of the dice to determine my success or failure. I win or lose based on what I do or don’t do.”
“I was a fucking decent hustler in my teens. I’d pretend I was just a girl who didn’t know how to play cards or shoot pool. When I was like 18, I hustled a cop at a billiards bar in Chi-town and I won his Chicago P.D. bomber jacket. [Laughs.] That was kinda sweet.”
WHAT VIDEO GAME HAS ROBBED THE MOST HOURS OF YOUR LIFE
“Madden, hands down. There’s nothing better than fiddling with knobs and buttons to control a human being. Word to my finger-blast game.”
“I’ve been addicted to Sporcle lately. It’s not really a game, it’s like a quiz website. You have to name like all of these capitals and countries and presidents.”
WHAT GETS YOU UP IN THE MORNING
“An erection. After that, three cups of instant Café Bustelo Espresso.”
“Big-black-moose-mountain-dog morning loving, followed by a big, bomb-ass workout!”
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