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Today, President Obama hosts the unprecedented White House Beer Summit, with the hope that alcohol can disinfect any open political wounds still stinging from last week's controversial arrest . This awkward political chess move is as genius as it is shallow - giving a whole new meaning to the term "drinking games". The goal is vague but the symbology is stark: Nothin in 'Merica can't be fixed over a good 'ol cold one. So what could happen at Barry's keg party? Here are some possibilities...
5. RACIAL PROFILING COULD END
• Who knows? Once Obama's swerving off that Coors he might get open and just ram through some aggressive anti-profiling legislation. Sergeant Crowley, a closeted-yuppie, might finish his Blue Moon and digress into an emotional meltdown, seeking forgiveness for his department's racist tendencies. Or not.
4. COPS AND ROBBERS COULD BE PLAYED
• Part recreation, part training; Gates and Crowley could re-enact the chain of events of the arrest with play-by-play editorialized commentary from, say, Shaq the Sheriff and maybe, Steve Wilkos . It could later air on both ESPN and CNN, possibly hosted by Robert Stack. Just saying.
3. A BRAWL MIGHT OCCUR
• Could happen. Emotions were quite high leading up to the summit and Prof. Gates is notoriously opinionated. Sergeant Crowley might say some slick shit to retaliate for Obama's comments following the arrest . If it goes down, you can expect Robert Gibbs to jump in.
2. OBAMA MIGHT DRUNK DIAL FORMER ADVERSARIES
• Possibly inspired by the British 19-year-old who drunk-called the White House in March, the trio might hop on the Skype and anonymously crank call old frienemies. "Hello, this is Reverend Wright speaking...Hello? Hello?..."
1. HE MAY POSE FOR PHOTO OP
• I'd really not like to think this is the case, but you just don't know these days. It's possible - extremely slim but indeed possible - that Mr. 44 is using this summit for nothing less than a politically calculated photo-op. Word to Axelrod.