Happy sports holiday weekend everybody! On Saturday, July 4th, the Tour de France bike race kicks off, and...whooooooaaaaaaaaa, hold up a got-damned second! The Tour de France is starting on America's birthday???!!! WTF!!!??? Maybe if those Frenchies hadn't been so busy riding bikes and helped us go kick some...oh nevermind, we're just gonna rename the thing the Tour de Freedom, how you like dem apples? And the freedom part of the Tour de Freedom includes the freedom to fall on your smug mug, so without further adieu (drat! They're so insidious!), we present The Craziest Tour de France Crashes...


CURB YOUR DOG!
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SOMEBODY FORGOT TO HAND-SIGNAL!
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SOMEBODY TRYING TO SABOTAGE LANCE! (0:41)
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HOW DO YOU SAY "CHEAT!" IN FRENCH?
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SOMEBODY CALL PETA!
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TWO WORDS: TALLER GUARDRAIL
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EFFIN' FRENCH COPS...
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THANKS, BUT NO THANKS
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YO HOMIE, YOU HIT LIKE A CYCLIST!
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A LITTLE CLOSE TO THE BARRIER, IF ABDU SAY SO MYSELF
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DON'T COUNT YOUR POULETS...