So the news just broke that the wife of Mel Gibson is filing for divorce. Yawn. Then we found out the settlement gwap: $500 million plus half of the residual checks from Lethal Weapon and Braveheart. To paraphrase one of Mad Max's recent flicks: Jesus-effing-Christ! Like Hovi said: Men lie, women lie, numbers don't.
Mel is taking a major L, but this isn't the first time divorce has separated famous men from their millions. Complex takes a look back at some celebrity wives who laughed straight to the bank...ha ha ha ha!
COUPLE: KEVIN COSTNER and CINDY SILVA (DIVORCED IN 1994)
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 16 years
SETTLEMENT: $80 million
REBOUND: K-Cost pulled the classic Hollywood upgrade: Make it big, dump the average-looking wife, smash every pretty-young-thing moving. We're sure he doesn't regret it.
COUPLE: HARRISON FORD and MELISSA MATHISON FORD (DIVORCED IN 2004)
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 18 years
SETTLEMENT: $85 million
REBOUND: Well, at least he got Ally McBeal now. Uh, yeah. That's an L to an L.
COUPLE: STEVEN SPIELBERG and AMY IRVING (DIVORCED IN 1994)
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: Four years
SETTLEMENT: $100 million
REBOUND: So Stevie basically lost the opening weekend of the last Indiana Jones. That's throwaway money, ma.
COUPLE: NEIL DIAMOND and MARCIA MURPHEY (DIVORCED IN 1994)
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 25 years
SETTLEMENT: $150 million
REBOUND: None—Neil was quoted as saying, "She was worth every penny." Wow. Take a close look at the pic above: That woman literally has some 150-million-dollar pussy. Ta-dow!
COUPLE: MICHAEL JORDAN and JUANITA JORDAN (DIVORCED IN 2007)
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 17 years
SETTLEMENT: $168 million
REBOUND: MJ's notorious for Space-Jamming hoes throughout his career, so fair is fair.
COUPLE: RUPERT MURDOCH AND ANNA MURDOCH (DIVORCED IN 1999)
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 32 years
SETTLEMENT: $1.7 billion
REBOUND: Dude remarried 17 days later. Take that, Anna!
If there is anything to be learned from these guys, it's this: