John Brown: Beauty Queens Gone Wild

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As America deals with its lil' economic instability, it's easy to forget that this is an international crisis. Nothing exemplifies this more than the increased drug-related violence in Mexico, most remarkably highlighted by the recent arrest of Mexican Beauty Queen, Laura Zuniga. She's a bad bitch, for real. There's something admittedly sexy about a drop-dead gorgeous chick with a wild streak. But Ms. Zuniga is not alone. Let's review some of the former beauty queens who unintentionally shattered their royal image...


5. Former Miss Nevada, 2007, Katie Reese
• Only in puritanical America does a beauty queen get punished for simulating sex acts with other women in public. If it were up to me, this would be a talent requirement for all contestants. But Trump fired her like a lame Apprentice, forcing her to seek redemption from Dr. Phil.  
 

4. Former Miss USA, 1991, Kelli McCarty
• When asked recently about her motives behind shooting porno, McCarty replied: "I enjoy acting, and I really like sex ...so this was the perfect opportunity to combine two of my passions." I'm assuming the term "no brainer" would have been inaccurate?
 

3. Former Miss North Wildwood, NJ, 2007, Ashley Fuhrmeister
• Just because she's a beauty queen don't mean she's balling. All-American Ashley got busted by the Feds in February for making and using counterfeit $50 bills. She can blame her boyfriend all she wants, but one glance at her Zsa Zsa Gabor-looking mom and it's obvious that Ashley comes from a long line of devious divas.      
 

2. Former Miss Pima County, 2005, Arizona, Kumari Fulbright
• The story with Ms. Fulbright is anything but sexy; more like downright disgusting. In December 2007, this psycho chick kidnapped and tortured her ex-boyfriend with three weirdo-ass motherfuckers. After she stabbed her old flame in the ear with a butcher knife, the victim escaped and sent this former bad bitch to the big house. "Look at me now, Ma!"
 

1. Former Miss Sinaloa, Mexico, 2008, Laura Zuniga
• Ms. Zuniga was rolling deep with some Sinaloa goonies when her truck got raided at a military checkpoint. After authorities found mad guns and money, the former pre-school teacher claimed she was simply on her way to go shopping in Bolivia and Columbia. I'm sure she was.