Well, somehow it's official (if still in legal limbo): SNL alumni and prodigious pundit/writer Al Franken has defeated the incumbent by 225 votes to become the new U.S. Senator from Minnesota. Yes, senator. Show-business congressmen (Fred Grandy, Sonny Bono), mayors (Clint Eastwood, Kevin Johnson), even governors (Ahnold, Jesse Ventura) aren't unheard of, but Franken's ascension to the Senate is frankly (zing!) a little weird.
We're sure he'll make a great rabblerouser, especially as the tantalizing 59th Democrat (a party needs 60 to become a filibuster-proof majority, but we'll save that conversation for a nerdier time), but it also kinda opens up the playing field. If a guy who starred in one of the worst movies of all time can become a Senator, then we've got six other comics who are at least qualified to be his chief of staff...
LARRY THE CABLE GUY
WHY: Judging from his album titles, the guy's already in the NRA's pocket. Bring on the no-bid Halliburton contracts!
WHY: Black Bush, bitches! Not to mention he's already tight with the chairman of the DNC.
WHY: Considering how many blowhards he's sonned over the years, this guy clearly needs to expand his audience beyond the apathetic youth (read: us). Mr. Leibowitz goes to Washington!
WHY: The guy already looks like a cross between Jesse Jackson, Jr. and Malcolm X--not to mention he's got one of the better Obama impressions out there.
WHY: Anyone that apoplectic was born to be a minority whip (no Bobby Knight).
WHY: Because the way he merked Steve Harvey, a hostile foreign leader wouldn't stand a chance. And you already know how fucked-up most foreign leaders' hair game is. Wouldn't even be fair, pimpin'.