On her last EP Milly, Toronto’s Amaal sails along the shores of sex and sensuality like she’s honed the varying aspects of her womanhood long before consummating the project. A feat, as a Black woman in music—who before consideration of their art—is often hyper-sexualized or deemed entirely undesirable in mainstream media. Her awakenings and overt sexual prowess are premeditated, as she’s spent a considerable amount of her adolescence coming to terms with parts of her that had been tucked away not to offend her family, community, and former repressed self. “We are seeing so many beautiful Black women feeling so empowered, and there are so many layers of it. I feel I could fit in there and be sexy in my own way, and it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s,” Amaal tells us.
Amaal’s latest single “Lullaby” featuring Syd, lead singer of the Odd Future-affiliated L.A group The Internet, is a sedative berceuse of soothing professes of unrequited love turned to lust and the delicate possibilities of engaging in one’s wildest dreams. It’s almost hard to believe she was once a sheltered young girl on unabashed songs like “Heaven,” where she serenades “feels like home when you deep inside,” and “Renegade,” where she invites her lover to “devour the plate.” Both tunes coincide with the messaging of her newest release.
Below, the Juno nominated R&B singer shares her challenges trusting her instincts, grappling with the complexities of expressing and accepting her singular journey to sensuality, and collaborating with Syd.
We read that Milly, the name of your latest EP, is a former nickname-turned-alias that you used to create music. Has the release of Milly changed your relationship with your nick name?
It wasn’t necessarily to make music or nothing. I felt like growing up in our community, during my high school days, I felt as a woman going out and exploring that there were certain judgements. Me and my friends created these nicknames as a way to be ourselves and make mistakes without having them held over our heads. I felt like, it [the nickname Milly] is a part of being who I am and with this project I tapped into that side, being free publicly—not having to hide and pick between identities.
With this project, it’s given me confirmation that we can be multiple identities all in one. I’m a Somali girl, I’m Muslim, I’m Canadian. I could be all these things and have this creation that expresses that; I don’t have to fit into one box.
Do you think your artistry has affected your community’s perception of you? Has the Somali-Canadian community and Somalis worldwide received your music?
Based off the messages I’ve received and the reception I get in person, I’d say the general energy is girls saying, “You give me the ability to feel like I can actually do these things and that I don’t have to appease whatever it is that my family wants me to do,” and “I feel more brave, seeing you liberate yourself makes me feel like I can do it as well.” Overall it’s a good reaction, of course you have the few [negative] comments, that comes with it but even those tell me i’m doing something right. I get it, it’s taboo to see a woman doing music, it’s going against the very things we’ve been taught. But we are in a different world and we have to get with it, you know. There is nothing wrong.
“I’m a Somali girl, I’m Muslim, I’m Canadian. I could be all these things and have this creation that expresses that; I don’t have to fit into one box.”
Do you consider yourself religious? If so, how has navigating your sensuality, sexuality, and faith been?
That has probably been the biggest struggle, honestly. Milly was my coming to terms with expressing myself in this way. I say it’s modest sensuality because there is a boundary I have within myself. I think as artists, it’s such a beautiful time right now. We are seeing so many beautiful Black women feeling so empowered and there are so many layers of it. I feel I could fit in there and be sexy in my own way and it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. It’s been the longest battle, but I’m happy with where I’ve come to now. I know what my boundaries are and feel comfortable understanding what they are. Whereas before, I had to think “Is that programming?” That makes me feel weird to not do this or is this truly where I draw the line. I went to the extreme and to the other side and I found a nice balance. I’m happy with where I’m at.
You told Complex before Milly released that it is “A celebration of the woman you’ve become and the person you’re hopefully continuing to grow and be.” Where are you along your journey of womanhood now?
Oh wow, that’s a really beautiful question. I look at myself almost like a late bloomer, because there is a sense of a sheltered life that I lived. At 21, 22, there was a lot of fear. I didn’t trust my voice, I looked to a lot of people for validation and was more comfortable with being directed rather than being the person that was leading. I took a backseat in my life—it was like a quarter-life crisis. I feel like, at 25, 26 is when I was looking at the sum of my life and experiences the past few years, and I couldn’t see where my presence was or where I picked these things. I was living to please my family, community and the people I was working with. I was completely lost.
It was definitely a breakdown to breakthrough and I had to recognize, “Hey Amaal, you’re going to be looking back at your life in your 40s, 50s and realizing that you didn’t live for yourself.” That was my awakening, now my new motto is to ask myself “is this me?” Of course, I love collaborating, having other women around me and getting opinions, but it’s my imprint, my creativity and I have to exist in it. I have practices, whether meditating, journaling, or creating mood boards, but I like to push myself in that way. Even if it’s a bad idea, I like to explore it and see where it takes me. I’m the most proud of finally living for me.
Now that concerts seem to be back in full swing, how was opening up for Jojo?
Unbelievable. I can’t even describe it. After two years of COVID-19 and lockdown, I don’t think I realized how that affected me. I got emotional the first night in Toronto and had to hold back my tears because the crowd was so incredible and engaging. It’s funny, before getting on stage, I was shaking a bit, I was so nervous, it was my hometown. It had been a while and you know, we are all human and want to be received well. I could see all the faces and people were just so happy and it was so nice to see us out finally celebrating. We did Toronto, Montreal and Ottawa. I got to meet Jojo and she was unbelievably supportive. She noticed I was nervous the first night and was on the staircase behind me and saying, “You got this! I’m going to be right here.” That was the energy she kept throughout the next days, she was so complimentary, humble and I mean, it’s Jojo! She’s top 10 vocalists in my opinion.
“I feel like if you know what you want and they are going to reciprocate, then why not? It’s about fast love, just go for it.”
Are you excited to be opening up for Charlotte Cardin in June. What are you thoughts on opening for a pop, electro artist? Are you worried at all about how your sound will be perceived?
Initially, that was my first thought and a fear of mine, “Is this going to match? Does this make sense?” But that’s the beauty. It’s in the world of R&B and pop and I think although our sounds are different, her people love music. And it’s Montreal, four days back-to-back, all sold out. I feel like no matter what, I’m going to go there and do my best and hopefully I’m received well. It’s going to be incredible, and I love Charlotte’s music—she’s unreal.
Have your real-life experiences inspired your sensual nighttime song, “Lullaby?”
Yes, for sure. It’s essentially tapping into that young, innocent, not jaded love. That some of us sometimes, of course, with heartbreak, are protecting and holding ourselves back but the song is about loving someone and saying it. It’s almost like, “What would a lullaby be, if we were maintaining the innocence of a youthful love?” I’ve approached all the people I felt I was feeling a connection with—we’d be talking, and if it feels natural, I ask for their information. I don’t know, I feel like if you know what you want and they are going to reciprocate, then why not? It’s about fast love, just go for it.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or better yet, do you think it’s possible to, as the lyrics of “Lullaby” suggest, “Fall in love overnight?”
I think, yes. Of course not all kinds of love. I’ve experienced the greatest of love, I think, where you’ve been through things and it’s like “I still choose you.” But yes, I believe you can see someone, meet someone and have an eight-hour conversation, talking all night and the sun comes out with the birds chirping and you realize you’ve been on the phone all night. That is a magnetic energy and it just doesn’t happen normally. I believe in, “I think you were put in my life for a reason and I want to see what that is” and “Right now, I don’t see you not in my life for the next little bit.” And then, when you really love someone, it’s “I don’t see me, on this earth, with you not in it.” I think there are different stages but I definitely believe in it.
How did you and Syd link up for the song? What was it like working with her?
I’m so happy! Most of Milly was done by Nicky Davey, they are incredible producers from L.A. They did “So What” off my last project and based off that we felt like we had a cool connection. They work on a lot of Syd and The Internet stuff, so that’s how that connection initially came to be. Right before the lockdown, in Oct of 2019, I was out there for a month. We rented an Airbnb for three to four weeks and were working on music every day for Milly. They had a session with her, played her “Heaven” and “Honey” and she loved my voice, she thought it was a unique sound—old-school R&B. They brought the record and it was initially her record, and we ended up opening the verse and sending it back. I finally got to see and meet her and she was amazing. I’m really excited for getting this out.
