Should a camera crew be following someone in rehab? My instinct says, “fuck no,” but if we’re being fair to all parties involved with Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta, I’d rather watch Stevie J recite Instagram inspirational word memes he learned in group therapy than deal with most of the other men on this show. So would you.
The episode launched with the sight of Stevie J strumming his guitar as he awaited a visit from Joseline. Stevie J informs the Puerto Rican Princess that he has to dedicate his next year to sobriety, which means she can’t be smoking weed anymore. Joseline astutely noted that she shouldn’t have to give up her love of the grass ’cause his piss in a cup keeps setting off alarms within law enforcement. I know that when you love someone, you’re supposed to sacrifice for them because that’s what people in a relationship do, blah, blah, bullshit, but no weed? No thank you.
Joseline would go on to inform Stevie J that her and Mimi won’t be braiding Ava’s hair together, so he can kindly stop asking him to make amends with that broken woman still upset that he no longer wants a relationship with her. Speaking of people who won’t be kicking it anytime soon, Karlie Redd and Rasheeda had a confrontation over the confrontation at Karlie’s store opening that took place a week ago. You know, I don’t really feel any strong way about Rasheeda on this show besides her looking like the female version of Superfly Jimmy Snucka, but I will say she was dead wrong last night.
Listen, Rasheeda, you did not have good intentions when you brought Erica to Karlie’s store opening. You did not want them to make amends because if you did, you would’ve organized a dinner with no food at a later date like a real neutral ass reality show cast member would have. What you did was go to fuck shit up. So be it, but own it.
Rasheeda did not, opting instead to bash Karlie Redd. At one point, Karlie said, “K. Michelle was right about you.” Well, she did not tell a lie there based on that scene. The two then had a Sheree and NeNe type verbal exchange. I’m going to go with Karlie for this round given she told Rasheeda, “CNN was at my motherfucking event. Name the last time CNN been at yo’ shit.” And outside, Karlie yelled, “Get in the fucking car ’cause you ain’t shit.”
1.
All Rasheeda did was call Karlie messy, lame, and made an AARP reference. Girl, you’re messy for what you did last week; you’re still married to Kirk Frost and you bite Shawty Lo’s flow so how’s all that for lame; as for age, umm, you’re not exactly the freshest peach in the pile either, beloved.
In related delusional lame news, Nikko is back despite my prayers that all footage with him will be lost in the editing bay. Nikko’s estranged wife, Margeaux, has moved to Atlanta—in the same building as Nikko. During a conversation, Nikko claims he made a “blood pact” with Mimi to lie about the origins of their porn. Margeaux believes him because she seems gullible as hell. Lift that sucker in prayer, y’all.
Then there is Yung Joc’s desperate fourth baby mama, who rolled up to Khadiyah’s job to show her proof that she’s messing around with Joc. Like, who shows up to someone’s job with a camera crew to brag on being a sidepiece? Khadiyah didn’t allow baby mama number four to see her sweat, but she did come for Joc. Khadiyah tied him up and confronted him about cheating while straddling him. She’s kind of amazing, though I was ready to brand her grabbing a belt and whipping him as punishment as domestic violence as opposed to S&M. Joc ended up enjoying. That man is as crazy as the women he attracts. Let me not talk so slick, though. You know Khadiyah will fight you.
Meanwhile, Erica and Scrappy set up a fake episode of Judge Judy as the two continue to deal with their rift over alleged unpaid child support. I hate that Scrappy and Erica can’t get along. I was hoping their hood love would be reborn, but since there ain’t nothing going on but the rent and the cost of school supplies, I don’t see that happening.
By the way, Stevie J has his own child support problems. Never forget that condoms are cheap.
By the way, Stevie J has his own child support problems. Never forget that condoms are cheap.
Closing out the theme of questionable choices, Kaleena and Tony are back and still trying to find their footing. Far be it from me to talk about someone else’s finances, but I will say I winced when I heard Kaleena reveal, “Me and Tony trying to get our money right after closing Phantom Studios and moving into this big ass house.”
Can you count all of the clichés in that one, lonely sentence? You want to get your money right because you just closed your recording studio, and yet, you moved into a huge house? And of course, Tony wants to use whatever money they do have to open a club. These people wear me out.
Once again, Joseline is the only person on this show who has had any real growth.
Michael Arceneaux hails from Houston, lives in Harlem, and praises Beyoncé’s name wherever he goes. Follow him @youngsinick.
