The Christmas period can be a really testing time for a lot of us.
For all the festive joy and ROLF moments it can bring, it's best not to forget the mediocrity and overall corny gimmicks that comes along with it. Of course, the gifts and mouth-watering turkeys are worth it in the long run but, in turn, you need to deal with such hindrances like family members you can barely stand and depressing EastEnders storylines that'll make you want to slit something other than a turkey. And that goes double for music released around Xmas, too.
We couldn't even begin to list the amount of tripe our ears have to endure during the holidays so, instead, we've decided to list some of the coolest Xmas-themed songs to get your mood right for Jesus' birthday. Tuck in below.
Words by Jerry Gadiano
Wiley – "Cheer Up, It's Christmas"
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If anyone can pull of a grime-themed festive joint, it's Wiley. Mr. Cowie perfectly encapsulates what it's like having to obligate your time begrudgingly for your nearest and dearest, even when you aren't up to the task because you'd rather be upstairs, computer with a joystick. Christmas Day can be a bit long sometimes, but being a Grinch or a Scrooge isn't exactly cool either. So stop being a chief and just grin and bear it, and do as the E3 don orders!
Kanye West – "Christmas In Harlem" f/ Cam'ron, Jim Jones, Vado, Cyhi Da Prince, Pusha T, Musiq Soulchild, Teyana Taylor & Big Sean
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Produced by Hit-Boy, Kanye's vision for this epic ensemble is worthy of high praise because, really, you wouldn't think a combination of Xmas cheer and mean-mugging rappers like Cam'ron, Jim Jones and Pusha T would mix well—but lo' and behold, Mr. Kardashian makes it work. Teyana Taylor also does a fine job of reminding us that she actually does have talent and isn't just a pretty face on Tumblr and Insta. This right here is inner-city Christmas celebrations at its finest; also, did Big Sean seriously just say rocking dashikis with a yarmulke? Duuude! #Levels.
Jim Jones – "Dipset X-Mas Time" f/ Stack Bundles & Mel Matrix
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When Capo's usually in the booth, he's super cocky and abrasive. But on "Dipset Christmas", he actually sounds like a nice guy who's having the time of his life, therefore proving that Christmas miracles do actually exist—which really made me think: all the time when Jimmy's rapping about moving "white" around Harlem, could that really mean he's getting his Mr Plow on, shovelling snow out of peoples' driveways whilst hittin' piff and sippin' on eggnog? Hmmm... The mind boggles.
Burgaboy – "I'm Dreaming Of A Black Christmas"
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We often forget that each culture has a unique way of celebrating Crimbo, so it's refreshing to hear Burgaboy's catchy take on it—curry goat, jerk chicken and all the trimmings. If Alex Dutty finds nothing wrong with calling a track "Proud To Be White", then one being titled "Dreaming Of A Black Christmas" shouldn't be a problem, should it? I, myself, shall be having a Southeast Asian-themed Hanukkah and Dutch-themed Chinese New Year. Deal with it, internet!
Wayne Wonder & Baby Cham – "Warm Jamaican Christmas"
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On top of the mass consumerism, shameless commercialization, and Simon Cowell infecting us with another one of his X Factor number ones—Christmas weather is also pretty shit. Look, snow is cool and everything, but I'd would rather be sunning it up on the beach with a Wray 'n' Ting in one hand, and a turkey leg in the other. Props to Wanye Wonder and Baby Cham for making a Christmas song for us warm-blooded mammals.
Eazy E – "Merry Muthaf*ckin' Xmas"
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Easy E didn't think Xmas was gangster enough, so he made a song about it. "Merry Muthaf*ckin' Xmas" bares all the hallmarks of the rapper's hilariously vulgar and goon-like qualities post-NWA, quintessentially putting the 'X' in Xmas. Not even good ol' Mr. Claus and his elves are safe, as Eazy takes the reins (literally) from Santa's annual Christmas Eve duties and spreads some much-needed festive cheer (and bulletts) through the streets of Compton.
The D.O.T — "I Don't Want It To Be Me"
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Trust Mike Skinner to make a catchy number out of being reluctantly lonely on Christmas Day. Credit has to go Robert Harvey too, though, whose workman-like vocals blend well with Skinner's always-on-point production. Despite the bells and happy jingling, this song will definitely bring out your Drizzy emotions—especially if you're unfortunate enough to be rolling solo during the holidays.
Ludacris – "Ludacrismas"
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No place does Christmas like the Dirty South, and "Ludacrismas" is here to rub it in all of our sprout-filled faces.
DMX – "Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer"
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Who would've thought that, in our lifetime, we'd see Dark Man X belting out "Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer" word-for-word? He even knew all the names of Santa's reindeers! I mean, c'mon, that's some real G shit. Only DMX could make such a sweet, family-friendly song sound like a hot street freestyle—perfectly timed barks and all.
Ghetts — "Merry Christmas Intro"
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This skit of a drunk Ghetts, talking crud over a "Jingle Bells" grime beat, should give you more than enough motivation to draw for the Baileys and get merry. Cheers, big ears!
