Much of last night’s episode of Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood was about choices, and in particular, a PSA to the audience on learning to stop making the wrong choices. For starters, if you allowed Soulja Boy to plant a seed in your uterus, you obviously don’t love your uterus as much you should. Similarly, if you’re constantly engaging in displays of public embarrassment over Yung Berg, you might want to go off and pursue an Amber Alert for your self-worth.
However, let’s start with Omarion, the most sensible cast member on this show. Starting directly where we left off, we greet Omarion, Apryl, and Omarion’s mama Leslie joyfully celebrating the birth of Omarion and Apryl’s first child. As Omarion put it, “I named him Mega because that’s exactly what this is: It’s mega.” It would have made more sense if he said, “I named my kid Mega ’cause while I used to love Sega Genesis, I didn’t want to be too-too obvious.”
Whatever, Omarion is rightfully elated so let’s just allow him to keep rocking.
Meanwhile, Apryl is focused on being a new mommy, but cannot shake the longstanding issues she has with her own mom. So she finally confronts her to underwhelming results. I’m merely speculating here, but from the looks of it, Apryl’s mama used to be a 1990s Halle Berry character, so it may be extremely difficult for her to give her the real on why she sent her to live with her grandmother. It’s painful for (presumed) addicts to be completely frank about their past; their children may never be as ready to hear the complete truth no matter how much they protest to hear it. If nothing else, at least Omarion’s mama is finally giving Apryl room to breathe.
I assume Omarion made sure Leslie continued to have her hair done, nails done, everything did for the sake of keeping the peace.
Speaking of parenthood, Nia revealed to Morgan that she is pregnant. Soulja Boy is the father, only as past episodes have shown, they’re not exactly in the best space. Nia is unsure about the pregnancy as a result of this, and when she finally does try to tell Soulja Boy that she is carrying his baby, he blows her off. Sadly, Nia miscarries and has to deal with the loss on her own.
Side note: Soulja Boy often seems less than sober in most of his scenes. I’m tempted to ask my mama if she can dig up the speech I wrote for D.A.R.E. back in fourth grade. Don’t worry, weed heads: I’m not including marijuana.
While she’s allegedly never high on the show, Masika must be on something to think she’s about to be the Maleficent of R&B. Now in the lap of Yung Berg, we caught a glimpse of Masika singing in the studio. No lie: The song sounded decent, but Masika’s singing voice gives Teairra Mari, first thing in the morning.
That doesn’t necessarily matter because if the beat is hot, this bird will bop, but songbird she’s not.
That doesn’t necessarily matter because if the beat is hot, this bird will bop, but songbird she’s not.
Anyhow, after telling Berg about the confrontation she had with Hazel E, Berg not only gives Masika the track he originally intended for Hazel, but invited Hazel to his all-white party for the sole sake of seeing Masika perform the new incarnation of the track. Hazel E comes with Ray J and offers a big “fuck you” to the dress code—showing up in all black. To be fair to Hazel, Berg, and Masika are intentionally provoking her, and she was pushed to react by Ray J.
However, Hazel is still out of her mind. This woman decided to randomly start performing her rendition of the Berg track as Masika’s version plays. I was so embarrassed for her, and that says a lot because most of us regular reality TV watchers are totally desensitized. Hazel, no man is worth this level of debasement, especially not one who can’t ride all of the best roller coasters at Six Flags and allegedly punches you when you pay for the bill his credit card when he is unable to.
As the back and forth between Hazel and Masika goes on, Teairra Mari decides to jump in a la Hazel E ’bout a week ago. Then came that random club promoter Sincere, who talks slick to Teairra. Will they learn not to try Detroit?
At one point, Teairra Mari screamed, “SINCE YOU WANT TO TURN UP FOR NO MOTHERFUCKING REASON THEN TURN UP. TURN UP, MOTHERFUCKER.”
Teairra Mari is the star of this show. I truly hope she manages to resurrect her singing career because she could become the Crime Mob of R&B and fulfill the promise of Brooke Valentine’s one hit. I love, Tee-Tee!
1.
During this altercation, Ray J took a moment to apologize to Teairra Mari. That ended well given Teairra informed Ray J that she knows the problems going on in his current relationship with Princess. Ray J rightly assumed it was Morgan who told Teairra, so Ray J tried to confront her about it. That ended in Morgan cursing Ray J smooth out. She let him know that it’s Princess who comes to her with the intel and that it’s Princess who’s still talking to Floyd Mayweather and it’s Princess who is asking for hookups with baseball players.
This Princess ain’t loyal, y’all.
I will say, though, Ray J maintained composure throughout the entire episode. As he explained to Teairra Mari at one point, he’s in anger management so nothing she can say will rile him up. Look at him, trying not to Chris Brown himself on camera. Let’s see how long that will last.
All that said, I do have one message to Teairra Mari: You’re a singer talking to Brandy’s mama on this show and the focus of the conversation is Ray J? Really? Don’t you need a manager? I don’t get it, but I respect alternative lifestyle choices.
’Til next time.
Michael Arceneaux hails from Houston, lives in Harlem, and praises Beyoncé’s name wherever he goes. Follow him @youngsinick.
