Mimi is the slowest bus in the HOV lane. I know, I know. She’s still reeling from the loss of her father, so I could stand to be a bit more sensitive. I’d rather not, and in my defense, Mimi been on that bullshit, which is why I say Mimi Faust is that friend you debate giving your new cell phone number to. She’s the kind of person who when met with a love tap by reality, would rather file a battery report versus just accepting the gift of truth. It takes a very special kind of friend to put up with that kind of persona. That said, I hereby declare her friend Ariane the Patron Saint of Putting Up With Worrisome People—and I have never been happier to be a big ass heathen.
This week’s episode kicked off with Mimi confronting Nikko about reports that he is married. Nikko nonchalantly acknowledged that he is indeed married and had no intention of ever disclosing that tidbit of information to his girlfriend. When prompted more about why he didn’t feel the need to do so, all he said was, “The question was never asked until now”—totally missing the point that one shouldn’t have to ask their boyfriend if they have a wife somewhere. Keeping up with the theme of feigned aloofness, all Nikko could say to Mimi about her anger is “I don’t get it.”
Of all the times Mimi has huffed and puffed and cussed someone smooth out, she opted out of doing so during this conversation. Way to not seize the moment, Mimi.
Knowing that people were going to find out about Nikko the same way she did, Mimi sat Ariane and Erica down to explain the situation while ultimately revealing the truth about that porno she shot with someone’s husband. Y’all, even after explaining that Nikko is a lying ass liar, she still sat there in front of her friends denying the possibility that Nikko leaked the tape himself. But after being called out on the production value of her porn, Mimi noted, “The initial tape was homemade.”
Let Mimi tell it, the production company told them that they didn’t provide enough footage for a full release, so they went and shot some more. Honestly, this is about as big a reveal as Mimi saying she was born with a vagina. However, I am glad she did finally acknowledge that she is a porn actress because based on the preview of the tape, it looked like they fucked in an Extended Stay America room out in Marietta, Georgia, with catering service provided by Gladys Knight’s Chicken in Waffles in the next room.
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When asked why she didn’t divulge the whole part of reshooting the sex scenes, Mimi said she didn’t feel the need to. Surprise, surprise: She only wants to tell the truth after feeling burned by her Forever 21 version of Stevie J. Either way, it explains her attraction to both men. She has a love-hate relationship with the truth, too. The scene ended in anger—Mimi’s—after she got super defensive over accusations that Nikko and his wife may be tag teaming that ass for a come up.
Later, Mimi would calm herself down to meet with Nikko’s old roommate. Yes, that same roommate K. Michelle claimed was actually Nikko’s homie, lover, friend. I don’t know how true that is, but I will say watching the scene of the two had me humming, “Woman to woman, have you ever been in love?" In any event, it only lent more credence to the “Nikko is using you, girl” theme by revealing that Nikko had long admitted to wanting to get Mimi on tape.
I bet Mimi still keeps Nikko around, though. Ariane, God bless you.
In related you ain’t shit news, Stevie J took a break from sociopathy to tell Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta superfan Snoop Dogg that he smashed Althea in Benzino’s house.
Yes, Snoop Dogg appeared on this show, and from the looks of it, loved every single second he was apart of filming. Earlier in the episode, Stevie J was asked to be Benzino’s best man at his bachelor’s party. When Joseline woke up Stevie J the next morning (on the couch), she asked him a simple question: “Did you fuck Thea while you was in the bachelor’s party?”
Despite Benzino initially getting the invite from Stevie J to accompany him in L.A. while he hits the studio, Joseline said, “Why I can’t go ‘cause y’all could put me on the remix?” Taking the hint, Stevie went ahead and brought the Puerto Rican Princess. Like the rest of us, Snoop loves him some Joseline, so he told Stevie J that when it comes to smashing Benzino’s fiancé, it’s best he tells his “niece” the truth. Yeah, good luck, bruh.
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Now that we’ve talked about nieces, it’s time to bring up Auntie Karlie Redd’s portion of the program. She decided to buy the song she recorded with Yung Joc from the producer and replace him with Young Dro. For her, this was rightful revenge and her rationale is as follows: “I’m fun, I’m freaky, and I turn up, but when it come to the business, you don’t want to mess with me.” If nothing else, Karlie Redd is consistent with her crazy.
Karlie invited Yung Joc to the video shoot, hoping to piss him off. Joc did seem bothered, but even after a brief back and forth, Joc told her “God bless” as he exited the set. Note that “God bless” is sometimes southern Black for “Fuck you, bitch.” I use it all the time.
Amen.
I’d end the recap there, but I just remembered Tammy and Waka did something, too. They want a baby, so best wishes or something, but Tammy is like the Farrah Franklin of #LHHATL. We could’ve just been shown more footage of Joseline instead.
God bless, y’all.
Michael Arceneaux is from the land of Beyoncé, but now lives in the city of Master Splinters. Follow him at @youngsinick.
