I don’t know who is at fault—producers or story editors—for what material was offered to the cast for this episode, but the marital status of Stevie J and Joseline Hernandez is not that interesting. Regardless as to whether or not they are a section 8 Beyoncé and Jay Z or a Spanglish version of whatever that shit Brandy had back in 2001, the two maintain the pimp and hoe bond that no bitter baby mama can break. For the record, Joseline and Stevie are versatile when it comes to those positions.
Suffice to say, when Stevie J decided to have a “meeting” with Benzino, Mimi, and Dawn the booker, I was with the creative creep when he told Nikko’s latest sucker, “Me? I don’t have nothing to prove to you.” No, you don’t, Steebie, though you did lose me when you declared, “I’m my own government. I make my own laws.”
Let Mimi tell it, she has no lingering sourpuss in her when it comes to her fallen relationship with Stevie J. No, no. She just wants "them to be exposed for the frauds that they are.” Well, Mimi, that statement denotes bitterness, which suggests a feeling—leading one to believe that Mimi is not completely over Stevie J, or at the very least, not the pain he instilled in her anyway.
I don’t know much about al-ge-ba, but I know, when it comes to Mimi and Dawn, one plus one equals two (fools).
By the way, Mimi, if you were all about your business, as claimed last night, you’d be showing us more of your actual business and getting your Florence from The Jeffersons on as opposed to your Daphne from the Mystery Machine impersonation.
As far as letting Dawn manage your career: c’mon, nah. If this is how she acts after losing Joseline as a client, what do you think she will do to you? Not to mention, that woman compared your porn to Vanessa Williams’ nude pictures of yesteryear. Mimi, you’re as close to Vanessa Williams as Mike Tyson is to Mary J. Blige. As Rick Ross is to the Olsen Twins. As Ty Dolla $ign is to Eric Holder. Clearly that woman is not of sound mind. Run.
In related crazy lady news, there is a ruckus in Momma Dee’s imaginary palace and she aims to clean it up by once again involving herself in her son’s business. This results in her meeting with Erica P to discuss why The Bambi swung at her at Scrappy’s 30th birthday bash. Now, I know every mother-son’s relationship is different, but if I were Scrappy, I wouldn’t like the idea of one of my special friend’s showing my mama my sexts. Yes, Momma Dee is an ex-pimp so this might be the hood equivalent of dating someone with a mom who is a sex therapist, but still: ick.
After not eating at a restaurant with Erica P, Momma Dee organizes another non-meal consuming meeting of the minds between Erica P and The Bambi at another restaurant. However, the minute Momma Dee argues that The Bambi ought to hear Erica P’s side all hell breaks loose. The Bambi rightly noted that she doesn’t have to listen to Erica P and her bullshit. To be fair to The Bambi, Erica P didn’t want to talk anyway given she threw a lunch tray at her head and tried to sucker punch her.
At this point, The Bambi is done with both Momma Dee and Lil’ Scrappy and I don’t blame her. You couldn’t tell on Basketball Wives LA or that time we saw her in a hot tube with Kirk and Benzino, but The Bambi has some sense. As we learned from Erica Dixon—the only Erica we ought to be seeing so much on Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta – sensible women don’t mesh well with Scrappy and his overbearing Momma Dee.
I wish The Bambi could loan Rasheeda some self-respect as I am tired of watching her allow Kirk to disrespect her. I hope gay people don’t waste the gift of divorce the way many straight folks do. I’m equally exhausted with Rasheeda trying to rap (like Shawty Lo). As much as I loved “My Bubble Gum,” I don’t understand why Rasheeda continues to deny her destiny of selling a successful weave line and/or making dollars endorsing Dark and Lovely.
At the conclusion of LHHATL, Joseline confronted new girl Tammy over one important question: “Why are you telling these old raggedy cougars my business?”
Although Tammy was right about Joseline throwing jabs at her, Joseline is equally correct in pointing out that if you have an issue with someone, you tell that person directly as opposed to other people—particularly those who you know damn well she doesn’t rock with. That said, Joseline, you don’t want to have problems with Deb Antney, so try not to go upside Tammy’s head, you hear?
And Tammy, we need to discuss the jab you threw at Joseline i.e. “Last year you was a prostitute and a stripper. Humble yourself, baby.” The Puerto Rican Princess is a television star that you have to beef with for camera time. She could sell her vagina for $2.95 and three cold McDonald’s French fries and that’s still not a good enough reason for her to “humble herself.”
Especially when you follow up that insult with, “My nigga own everything he got, hoe.”
Yeah, you may consider a particular class of Mercedes to be “cheap,” and sure, Joseline used to be a stripper, but you’re trying to boost yourself up based on what your man owns. Meanwhile, Joseline has made her own way her entire life. Sounds a lot better than regurgitating everything you heard from Mimi Faust as Joseline drives away.
I was rooting for you, Tammy, but now I wish they filled your slot with someone from Blaque, Xscape, or 702.
P.S. If I did a drinking game based on the number of times Hip Hop Weekly was said last night, I would’ve died before the third commercial break.
Mimi and Nikko celebrated their one-year anniversary. No, I don’t care either.