I have a feeling that the new season of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta is going to depress the shit out of many of us. That’s unfortunate for numerous reasons, but should that suspicion prove itself true, it ought to leave the cast of Love & Hip Hop New York shook. I mean, they’ve excelled at being the Debbie Downer of the franchise for so long. What in the hell are they going to do if the southern remix of the show snatches yet another crown away from them?
Last week, my favorite Negro telenovela made its return with two new episodes—Monday and Wednesday, respectively. Neither episode was particularly remarkable, but, if nothing else, accomplished the goal of setting the tone for what we can expect in the months ahead. Then again, thanks to Mimi and her boyfriend, Niko—who I’ll be referring to as Stevie K after the end of this sentence—the tone had already been set.
Mimi and Nikko’s screen test with sociopathy suggests that the central theme of season three of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta will be as follows: We’re watching terrible people be awful.
I don’t know who Mimi and Stevie K think they’re fooling, but anyone with at least a fraction of a working brain knows those two planned their porn. Yes, porn. We ain’t about to refer to that as a “sex tape.” From the industrial shower rod installed in that rented apartment to the camera quality, that was a full-on production. I don’t doubt for a second that there was Gladys Knight’s Chicken and Waffles in the next room over for the film crew.
I’m certainly not convinced after watching Mimi’s bad acting on episodes one and two. I always felt that Mimi’s penchant for monologues made her a prime candidate for a Tyler Perry play, but in hindsight, her acting makes Madea look like Meryl Streep. You ain’t real, girl, and neither is your story.
Mimi and Stevie K’s screen test with sociopathy suggests that the central theme of season three of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta will be as follows: We’re watching terrible people be awful.
The same goes for many of their cast mates.
Lil’ Scrappy is still acting like a teenager with a wayward dick inside of an adult male’s body—to the delight of his overbearing, enabling mother who continues to ignore the fact that she needs to quit playing and put out an Amber Alert for some business. And with all due respect to Scrappy’s latest victim, Bambi, we had enough of you on Basketball Wives: LA. If you don’t drop a mixtape by the end of this season, consider yourself a waste of a rapper. You know, ‘cause I heard that’s what you do.
Then there’s Karlie Redd, who is now dating rapper Yung Joc. Karlie Redd loves herself a forgotten rapper. Don’t be surprised if she's is dating Positive K or Akinyele in seasons four and five. As of now, she’s just an overbearing, insecure, woman trying to patrol the penis of her beau. We know how that always turns out, so good luck with that, Karlie. By the way, where is your new music? Weren’t you popping on stage with Beenie Man last season? You’re wasting this cheap fame, too, woman.
In any event, in related cheating rappers news, Waka Flocka and his bae, Tammy, have joined the show. The two of them are trying to make this monogamy thing work (him more than her). I’m not especially invested in them yet, but if this means we’ll get to see Deb Antney regularly, welcome to the show, y’all! Get comfortable.
And we can’t forget Kirk Frost, who is really serious about winning the title of worst human being on reality television ever because he’s about to repeat every mistake with wife Rasheeda that he did last season.
Now, based on episodes one and two, you would actually be under the impression that Stevie J and Joseline Hernandez, Baby, might be the show’s saving grace. After all, they’re married—though that was questioned in a shady, bitchy way via Ariane and Erica—and seem to be quite happy with their new life. I can see why. She’s a former prostitute with daddy issues and he’s a misogynist with mommy issues who likes to think of himself as “daddy” in a way only a pimp like Momma Dee can appreciate. Together, they fame whore out in the pursuit of cash. You should be singing Rihanna’s “We Found Love” after reading that sentence, FYI.
However, last Thursday, Mimi Faust posted a screen cap of a disturbing text conversation between she and Stevie J that shows just how nasty things have gotten between them. In a recent radio interview, Mimi revealed that despite living in a big new house on TV, Stevie J isn’t paying child support. She explained, “He don’t help me with Eva. So don’t worry about how much money I make, ok? Me and Nikko take care of the baby.”
In response, Stevie texted Mimi, “Bang bang!! Your dad aint gonna be the only one. Karma is a bitch!”
Mimi also recently announced that her father had died.
In the caption on Instagram, Mimi wrote, “Be careful who y'all praise. Don't let the cameras fool you!! #TheDevilIsALiar”
I’m not entirely sure who’s “praising” Stevie J, but I do know this is all weirds me out. The show's charm is that even though these folks are a mess, their was a humor from the cast members to off set the melodrama surrounding them. Between Mimi and Stevie K selling porn to boost their own star power (and compete with Joseline and Stevie J) and Stevie J sending the mother of his child thinly veiled death threats, one wonders if I’m no longer going to be able to watch this for pure amusement.
Michael Arceneaux is from the land of Beyoncé, but now lives in the city of Master Splinters. Follow him at @youngsinick.
