Fellow rap writers, we have to do better. Wait, let's scale that back a bit: We have to do better on Twitter. Yes, all of us. You may think your feed is full of gems, novel outlooks, and much-needed criticism, but if you were to survey some rap writer's Twitter, you will find that they all resemble each other. From arguing for artists they really don't care about to self-promoting for more page views, here are 25 Things Every Rap Writer Does on Twitter. Please, leave your subtweets at the door.
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Subtweet other writers.
Self-promote.
Use rap lyrics to describe career movement.
Review five-minute songs that came out two minutes ago.
Expose secrets in order to look cool and in the know.
Declare an album classic before it even drops.
Tweet rap lyrics of songs they've heard early.
After receiving a handful of retweets on an idea, email editor with the idea like it's gold.
Steal ideas from other writers who they follow.
Download an artist's entire catalog, listen through it once, then wax on about being an expert.
Complain about how Twitter has damaged the listening experience for new music.
Live tweet televised events as if they're in attendance.
Dissect a rapper's career and talk about what they should be doing to become successful.
Express concern about problematic content.
Tweet a principled stand that contradicts actual values as a journalist.
Tweet at rappers like you're homies, even though you interviewed them one time.
Complain about an artist, flip flop into a fan four months later, hope no one notices.
Make puns with rap names.
Try desperately to be the first to tweet about any new artist, no matter how banal or marginal.
Regularly tells followers "I told you so."
Talk all day about sales figures; never buy an actual album.
Diss whatever content farm they haven't worked for; avoid dissing those they have.
Defend something clearly enjoyed ironically as something enjoyed sincerely.
Post music created by people they regularly socialize with or want to bang.
Waste time.
