Justin Bieber's Diary Entries From South America

October 29, Bogota, Colombia

Dear Diary,

I got to South America today. Colombia is the first stop on our tour and the show was legit. Someone told me there's a street here where tagging is legal, so I figured I'll check that out. I never had the chance to legally do something illegal and since I am about that life, the boys and I hit it up and I did my thing. I decided to wait until Halloween to post up the flicks because, you know, art. It was the perfect opportunity for me to pay respects to Pac. I miss that little guy.

Colombia was weird. The police came with me to make sure I'd be okay but I still got in trouble with the people there. I heard the government's secretary called me a disgrace but who is she to judge? She's just a secretary. I wish Pac were still here. He'd totally get where I was coming from. It's what he would've wanted.

Anyway, Free Breezy.

November 1, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Dear Diary,

Legally tagging graffiti was a rush. I feel like such a bad boy, no Diddy. I wanted to relax before my first show in Brazil, so some of the guys suggested we go to a spa. They said it was like an Oasis and they read a lot of great reviews about it online, and since the Internet doesn't lie, I was with it.

Centauros was nice but the employees were all naked, which freaked me out. I was expecting love from the ladies there, but the amount of love I got was more than I imagined. The girls surrounded me like I was a piece of meat. Before I could even take a tally of how many Beliebers were in the house (I was there three hours but it took two and a half for me to pick a friend for the night) my bodyguards yolked me up in a blanket, and that's when things got even weirder.

Next thing I knew I was in the back of our car with only two girls. The news said I was at a brothel but those are illegal, so that is impossible.

I'm pissed my bodyguards rushed me out of there so soon, though. They made me scuff my sneakers. I still have no idea if Centauros is Belieber friendly #allthatmatters

November 2, Sao Paulo, Brazil

Dear Diary,

I'm so mad. Someone threw a water bottle at me during my show A-FUCKING-GAIN. I was nice the first time but I just couldn't contain myself this time. Shit hurt. I wanted to sing "Baby" for everyone to close the show but fuck that. I walked out.

#badday

November 5, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Dear Diary,

I'm still in Brazil and I found out you can tag here too if you ask for permission. I think I have a real knack for graffiti so I had my people ask the Brazilians if it would be okay to tag out here, too. They said yes!

They gave us permission to tag a wall in a shantytown outside Rio, but after what happened at the spa, we thought it might be another trap so we hit up this abandoned hotel that was closer. I put in work. Turns out the hotel we tagged wasn't abandoned, though. So now I have to apologize for being an artist.

November 6, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Dear Diary,

So there's this one really small part of my time in Brazil I skipped over. I met a girl named Tati. She was really nice, both to look at and talk to. We talked about my music, we lifted some weights, and she ended up spending a lot of time at the mansion I rented during my stay (I sort of got kicked out of the Copacabana Palace after the whole brothel thing). I'm not sure why she waited until I was asleep to take a picture of me. I would've been happy to take one after we had breakfast. My room was such a mess, too. My mom's going to murder me if she sees that video.

November 9, Buenos Aires, Argentina

Dear Diary,

The first show in Argentina was dope. The Beliebers were out in full force and I got so many gifts! Some of them got in the way of my dancing, but I made sure to quickly get them over to my entourage so I can clean them off and admire them afterward. At one point people were booing but I think that was just them wanting me to see their presents when they threw them over. Oh well. I'll be sure to tweet thanks tonight as I sort through the bras by band and cup size.

Update: They weren't all bras. Crap.

November 9, Buenos Aires, Argentina

Dear Diary,

I keep getting blamed for things I haven't done. Apparently my bodyguards are being charged with assault because they tried getting some paparazzi off my back while I tried leaving the club in Argentina. I can't even be mad at that. These guys need to give me my space when I leave the club at 6 a.m, especially if my bodyguards keep covering me in these blankets. I can't see! They need to back the fuck up before they get smacked the fuck up.

I'm cranky. Hopefully my second show here goes better than the first!

November 10, Buenos Aires, Argentina

Dear Diary,

What. The. Fuck. I've done my best to embrace the culture out here. But when I do, I'm getting in trouble with the law or I'm hooked up to an IV fighting for my life. I tried doing what I could for my fans but it was just way too much. I even tweeted about it to make sure people understand that this is real and it's not just my being embarrassed about the whole bra/flag mix-up.

Now I just have to sit and wonder what exactly got me this sick. It's a good thing I know how to self-medicate. I ain't got no worries.

November 12, Santiago, Chile

Dear Diary,

Seriously? This is bullshit. Everyone does this. Why can't the press let a young Canadian flourish? #badday

November 18, Mexico City, Mexico

Dear Diary,

My time in South America is over. I'm really sad. I had a lot of fun. I met a lot of great people and had some good times. I got to tag two walls in South America, I learned how to walk with a blanket draped over my head, and I lost 5 lbs, which means 5 less pounds I have to turn into muscle.

I wish I could've spent more time with my Beliebers but I know they'll always love me even if their government doesn't. Time to get back on my grind. Mexico is next and the boys are all talking about hitting up a "donkey show"—whatever that is. Sounds like fun though!