We wish that this was a post that didn't have to be written. That would be great. We wish that all of the rap albums that came out were just wonderful, cohesive pieces of art people worked on honestly and diligently. But we can't even imagine that world. That's some sort of too-beautiful utopia that we don't think the human brain can even process. Or it'd be like nirvana. Like, if you ever found yourself in such a world, you would be released from the prison of human consciousness, and so then would have no way of experiencing how awesome it was, or of even knowing you'd attained such a state.

There probably wouldn't be racism or even any kind of hatred at all. There wouldn't be pollution. Everyone in Syria would be getting along just fine. Love and Hip-Hop wouldn't be a thing. LeBron would've stayed in Cleveland. All that. But alas, they are not. For every 400 Degreez or Aquemini there are 400,000 Kingdom Come(s) or Rebirth(s). So, for you, a cheat sheet: A list (surprise!) of ways for you to know that you should not listen to an album. Here are some telltale Signs A Rap Album Will Suck.

Written by Shea Serrano (@SheaSerrano)

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