The Worst Rap Lines of 2013 (So Far)

Is that Kanye? No, it's French Montana's worst line of the year.

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Complex Original

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Rap is beautiful, fluid, and powerful. It can move grown men to tears and transform suburbanites into hardened drug dealers for a few minutes at a time. Rap is poetry on HGH. And, when done properly, a rapper's silver tongue can rival any Shakespearean (or Petrarchan) sonnet. Plus, they have autotune, which puts Willy Shakes at a disadvantage.

Occasionally, it is the opposite. Whether it's a semantics issue that distorts the meaning, an accidental factual inaccuracy or just flat-out inanity, rap has its fair share of blunders. 2013 is no exception. We've reached the half-way mark, and there are plenty of mishaps from which to choose.

We have compiled a list, as we have been known to do, to show that rappers are not infallible demi-gods but real people who are susceptible to mistakes and, in some cases, not good at their job. These are The 13 Worst Rap Lyrics of 2013 (So Far).

Written by Bauce Sauce (@BauceSauce)

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"Eatin' Asian pussy all I need was sweet and sour sauce."

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Song: Kanye West "I'm In It"
Album: Yeezus
Producer: Kanye West, Justin Vernon, Andre Harris, Jill Scott, Vidal Davis, Carvin Haggins, Kenny Lattimore, Jeffrey Campbell, Josh Leary, Malik Jones, Cydel Young, Sakiya Sandifer, Elon Rutberg, Mike Dean
Label: Def JamYeezus contains myriad awful rap lyrics ("300 like the Romans"), many of which reside in "I'm in It." We'll pass on "I be speaking swaghili" because we'd like to forget that ever happened. "Put my hand in her like a Civil Rights sign" isn't that outlandish. Perhaps the girl 'Ye is talking about is a social activist? Who are we to judge? 

Mild racism aside, Kanye is promoting unsafe sex practices with the "Asian pussy" line. Sweet-and-sour sauce's main ingredient is sugar, and guess what thrives off sugar? Yeast. Yeastuz. Yeezty. Sorry. Moreover, sweet-and-sour sauce is far too sticky for sitophelia. Ever accidentally got S&S sauce on your wrist or hand? You might as well wear a glove for the next month because you're gonna be like Daniel Stern in Home Alone 2. Now imagine that around your downstairs region. Ouch.

"Put Molly all in her champagne/She ain't even know it/I took her home and I enjoyed that/She ain't even know it."

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Song: Rick Ross on Rocko's "U.O.E.N.O."
Album: Gift of Gab 2
Producer: Childish Major
Label: A1 Recordings/E1 MusicHoly lord. Rick Ross is an idiot. First he ruins a Top 40 Radio Usher song with a Trayvon Martin punchline, then he swoops in on Rocko's would-be summer anthem and brags about date rape. And then, after the backlash, Ross goes on the radio to apologize for it—but blames listeners for misconstruing his words because he doesn't say "rape." You're right, Ross. That was on us. In spite of all this, the ladies loved the line and the song landed on the Billboard Hot 100.

In fairness to Ross, maybe we did have the lyric wrong? Maybe what he meant was that she was unaware that he enjoyed having sex with her? Perhaps Ross puts up a front to shield his 85 percent-cholesterol-clogged heart from being broken? If he lets on that he likes this girl, then she'll expect more from him, and he simply won't be able to give her the love and attention she deserves. This will result in hurt egos, and broken hearts. If you think about it, Ross is really being a gentleman.

Hmm. Nah.

"I turn off your light like I'm Future/Lil homie you don't know me, quit fucking with me/Fucking kids wearing wigs and fucking with niggas/You The fucking Creator, is you like really creative?"

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Album: J-Kwon "Pushing The Odds"
Album: N/A
Producer: H Snow Beatz
Label: Hood Hop MusicIf a psychic had told us at the beginning of the year that J-Kwon would thaw from his carbonite freezing after nearly a decade to make a diss track targeting Pusha T and Odd Future, we would have told that person that they were the worst psychic in the history of psychics, Psychics (Pokemon type), Psy kicks (Gangam dance moves), CyHi kicks (shoes) Sidekicks (Motorola), Sidekicks (Johnathan Brandis/Chuck Norris movie) and sidekicks (Robin, Sancho Panza, et al). But, then we would have to humbly apologize because it came true.

After Kanye West ranked "Tipsy" as like the greatest song of all time throughout all the realms in his infinitely quotable New York Times interview, J-Kwon chose the best possible career move: A diss track. The song itself is laughable and kind of makes you feel bad for him. The problem with lines like "I'll turn off your lights like I'm Future" lyric is that Future wasn't the one who turned the lights off. We don't know who turned the lights off. Perhaps the lights have always been off? All we do know is Future wants the lights turned on—the opposite of what J-Kwon says.

Usually the last line of a diss track is the fatal blow: J-Kwon doesn't subscribe to this school of thought. Instead, he delivered a turn-of-phrase that we whole-heartedly believe Eli Porter ghostwrote for him: "Is you like even creative?" Do you even lift? Here's to hoping Jay Hyphen Kay shakes the rust off and comes back with more club bangers in 2013.

No matter what though, we'll always have "Hood Hop"... We'll always have "Hood Hop"...

"That ain't Kanye/That's Montana/Loose cannon/He shot me so I had to do it...."

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Song: French Montana on A$AP Ferg's "Work (Remix)" (2013)
Album: N/A
Producer: Chinza & Fly
Label: A$AP Worldwide/Polo Grounds/RCASome people might think the first part of this lyric is the bad part, but it's not. Forced slant rhyme aside, the resemblance to Kanye isn't in Montana's appearance but by his co-opting of Kanye's "Haanh" ad lib. However, it's the latter-half of the opening quatrain that's terrible because FRENCH MONTANA ADMITS TO MURDERING THE DUDE WHO SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD.

Sure, French beat the murder charge and double jeopardy is attached but we all know how that worked out for O.J. Simpson. French glosses over the incident in interviews like this one, but he flat out admits to shooting and killing a guy. Not smart. You know the feds watching. Stay woke, dawg.

"Told him: 'I want the guns, drugs, jewels papers and all,' but he stall/He tried to lie and say some chick had it/Soon as he said his word is born, I gave him a miscarriage."

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Song: Papoose "Motion Picture"
Album: The Nacirema Dream
Producer: Dame Grease
Label: Honor B4 Money/Fontana RecordsPapoose and Eminem made careers out of turning idioms into puns, e.g. Em's "I'm lightning in a skillet; you're a fucking flash in a pan" line from "On Fire." Whereas both tip-toe the line between dope and corny, Papoose habitually lands on the corny side. This lyric is a prime example. He takes the idiom "Word is born" and plays on the concept of birth.

Not only does it sound forced but Papoose giving him a miscarriage makes no sense in this context. It would have made sense if he said, "He said his word is born, but he must have miscarried." Papoose can't give the guy the miscarriage because that would mean Papoose is the one telling lies. Bottom line: This concept wasn't good when Childish Gambino did it, and it's not any better with Papoose behind the mic.

To all the youths out there: Papoose signed a contract that gave him $1.5 million, which means you can literally do anything you ever dreamed of no matter how fucking dumb it is.

"I'm in the ocean, getting shark pussy."

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Line: Lil Wayne "IANAHB"
Album: I Am Not a Human Being II
Producer: ELEW
Label: Young Money/Cash Money/RepublicWayne is a cunny connoisseur and an analingus aficionado. He procures pussy with such ease that it has to be a fairly boring sport at this point in his life. What could be more dangerous and exciting as trying to sex a shark? You would have to be equal parts violent and tender, powerful and nimble to successfully pull off aquatic bestiality. If anyone can do it, it has to be Wayne. Weezy F Baby and the F is for "fish."

"Used to like orange cassette tapes with Timmy, Tommy, and Chuckie."

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Song: Chance The Rapper "Cocoa Butter Kisses"
Album: Acid Rap
Producer: Cam For J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League
Label: N/AIt pains us to include Chance The Rapper on this list, but the one slip-up on "Acid Rap" is a big one. The stars of the infantile Nickelodeon classic Rugrats, Tommy Pickles and Chuckie Finster, did not have a friend named "Timmy." Who is Chance talking about?! The only possible reference to a Timmy is on the "Family Reunion" ("Make you squeal like a piggie") episode where Tommy meets his cousins Emmett, Tammy Faye, Tony and Timmy Pickles. Timmy only shows up in this one episode, which makes it hardly believable that Chance would name check him.

Other than this cameo, no other major Nickelodeon characters named "Tim" or "Timmy" existed in the early 90's before Paramount took over Nickelodeon's VHS distribution and phased out the orange cassette tapes.

Who is this Timmy of whom Chance speaks? The world may never know.

"Bitch, suck my dick before I slap you with it."

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Song: Mac Miller "Gees"
Album: Watching Movies with the Sound Off
Producer: Chuck Inglish
Label: Rostrum RecordsAh, yes, a good ol' healthy serving of misogyny. Great thing about being a man is we can treat women like objects only made to satisfy our sexual desires with little to no consequence! Sorry, but those have been the rules since dinosaur times. That's how this here patriarchy works, sugar tits.

"Make your death wish cause I'm too fresh/Cause I'm fresh to death/Cause I'm fresh to death."

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Song: Soulja Boy on Lil Wayne's "Trigger Finger"
Album: I Am Not a Human Being II
Producer: Juicy J, Crazy Mike
Label: Young Money/Cash Money/RepublicSoulja Boy will be remembered as the greatest MC of our generation. However, his appearance on "Trigger Finger" bewilders even the most MENSA of Rap Geniuses. The repetition of "I'm fresh to death" mimics a bridge or a chorus, but it's not. It's a nonsensical verse, something you'd expect on that other (better) "Trigger Finger" song but not here. Confounding its terribleness is that Lil Wayne gave The Swag Daddy a full eight bars, splitting the third verse with him. Like putting his co-sign in bold italics.  

Please never forget that Soulja Boy made a song denouncing Joseph Kony and the use of boy soldiers.

"Ball like a Nerf."

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Song: Tyga "500 Degrees"
Album: Hotel California
Producer: Ryan Hunt
Label: Young Money/Cash Money/Republic"Ball like a Nerf" defines laziness. Here are some equally lazy lines Tyga could have used:


  • Ball like testes

  • Ball like crying

  • Ball like baskets

  • Ball like foos

  • Ball like spheres

  • Ball like bearings

"Beat that pussy up like Emmett Till."

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Song: Lil Wayne on Future's "Karate Chop (Remix)"
Album: Future Hendrix
Producer: Metro Boomin
Label: A1/Freebandz/EpicWow! There's levels of offensiveness here. Belittling the catalyst of the Civil Rights Movement is a dazzling feat, even for The Pussy Monster Rapper Eater. But why do rappers always want to beat the pussy up? Why not treat the pussy with respect and shield it from the evils of this grim world? Why not date the pussy exclusively? Why not tell the pussy you want to spend the rest of your life with it? Food for THOT.

"My verbal AK slay faggots/And I don't mean no disrespect whenever I say faggot, okay faggot/Don't be so sensitive/If you want to get fucked in the ass/That's between you and whoever else's dick it is/Pause, maybe that line was too far/Just a little joke to show how homophobic you are."

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Song: J. Cole "Villuminati"
Album: Born Sinner
Producer: J. Cole
Label: Roc Nation/ColumbiaNothing about this line works. Cole explains it away in an interview by saying he was trying to further the discourse about homophobia in rap, "Those lyrics are meant to make everyone uncomfortable for the sake of this very conversation." That lyric still made those of us that aren't homophobes uncomfortable. We can see what he was going for here, but even with better wording, it still fails in context of the song.

This passage is stuffed between lines about imaginary Internet rapper-foes and trying to find a Danielle Fischer to rub his dingaling on. It simply doesn't work in any capacity. The only redeeming quality is that Cole's verbal AK allows him to fit three slurs into two bars. Which is kind of Impressive but still crazy bigoted.

"If you don't judge my du-rag, I won't judge your red flag."

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Song: LL Cool J on Brad Paisley's "Accidental Racist" 
Album: Wheelhouse
Producer: Brad Paisley
Label: Arista NashvilleThis list could easily have been exclusively from this song. Just reprint the whole lyrics sheet and be done with. But okay: LL Cool James proffers that a du-rag is the black man's version of the confederate flag. How did that make sense in his head?

LL had to think of that lyric, write it down, record it with his mouth, listen to it after he recorded it and at no point think that it was beyond silly. Did you think you would live to see a truly post-racial America? Ladies Love and Brad Paisley were able to accomplish what Nelly and Tim McGraw failed to do. THE WORLD IS FIXED!

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