Simpin' Ain't Easy: The 25 Most Pathetic R&B Lyrics

R&B is the magic love potion of music. Try getting it on to polka, country, or jazz and you'll get screwed—so to speak—but there's nothing like when rhythm and blues come together and make love. Then again, R&B isn't just built for making love, it's also meant for making up. Whether you've wronged, or have been wronged, the goal is always to control your emotions.

Unfortunately, when the R&B gets going, sometimes artists' tears get to flowing. Enter Eric and Jeff Rosenthal of ItsTheReal to point out the suckers, as Complex presents Simpin' Ain't Easy: The 25 Most Pathetic R&B Lyrics.

Written by Eric Rosenthal & Jeff Rosenthal (@ItsTheReal)

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Song: Case "Missing You" (2000)

Dear Case,

If every day you want to call this girl, and you're feeling so lonely that you're hallucinating, then perhaps you should just pick up the phone. Bam. Very easy fix. Call her, call someone who knows her, or call the suicide hotline. Or, you know, you could just sit in your house (alone again, naturally) and wonder why nothing changes. I don't know what the latter offers you, though it seems like you're sticking with it. I wouldn't say it's a good choice, but it's certainly a choice.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: R. Kelly "If I Could Turn Back the Hands of Time" (1998)

Dear R-ruh,

How old are you? (We're kidding. We know never to ask that question around you.) The odds of you not meeting anyone in the next 50 years are unbelievably slim, and that's excusing the fact that you're a superstar with boatloads of money and fame and sex rooms and dungeons and songs to your name. We know some people call you crazy and gross, but if you've been feeling lonely, it's not because you did some girl wrong. Or maybe it is, who knows, laws are crazy these days.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Keith Sweat "Merry Go Round" (1990)

Dear Keith,

A merry-go-round, huh? So your girl is a horse; respect. But while there are obvious pros to riding a insane horse, this here sounds like you've been thrown off the horse and hit your head. "What did I do to deserve this pain, girl?" You did nothing, yet you're still taking all the blame?! This is insane! And we all know that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again: merry go round. This relationship (and your way of thinking) needs to be retired and turned into glue.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Ginuwine "World is So Cold" (1996)

Dear Ginuwine,

Sometimes we just don't get the answers we so desire; oftentimes, closure is just a white whale that we chase until we don't anymore. Maybe you don't think you did something wrong, but you did. You absolutely did. Maybe it was something physical, but more probably, it was something like you chewing your food weird or you blowing your nose too loud. She'll never tell you that, though. She'll just say that it's not you, because she's too nice to you. Oh, except for the fact that she left you, and here you are, tearing your waves out all this time later.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Tevin Campbell "Tell Me What You Want Me To Do" (1991)

Dear Tevin,

You released this song at 15 years old. What exactly could your girlfriend at the time have done to you to have you down on your knees, begging her not to walk away? Did she find out that you cheated on a math test? Did you fight over whether to go to the mall or see a movie after school? Did you spend lunch period with your friends instead of with her? Whatever it was, you could have walked after her on your own two feet like a man, instead of crying and crawling like a baby.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Sisqó "Incomplete" (2000)

Dear, dear Sisqó,

Sometimes we wonder what it's like to be you. Not often, and certainly not in a 'I wish I were Sisqó' way, but it's definitely a thing that's happened. To be in a position where you think you have it all: Big house, big wallet, big red pleather suit, big dumb bottle of hair dye, small doorframes and booster seats for your chairs...and no one to share that fortune with.

It's been a long time, and hopefully you've found someone by now. Hopefully the two of you are living in a time and world where "The Thong Song" is tolerable, either ironically or via misplaced nostalgia. Hopefully she doesn't hear you to refer to yourself as "The Dragon." But if not...

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Brian McKnight "One Last Cry" (1992)

Dear Brian McKnight,

So you're crying—big whoop. Everyone cries. Our lows remind us that we have the capacity to feel the highs, but you want to do away with it all? Set it back at zero? Boo hoo. Hope your tears don't break your entire system, you robot. So, yeah, that's not the pathetic part of all of this. What is, is that you're announcing it: "ONE LAST CRY AND THEN I'M DONE." You're the person who announces that they're unfollowing someone on Twitter. No one cares, just do it and get it over with.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Day 26 "Truth Is A Lie" (2009)

Dear Day 26,

Sounds like you're confused. Sounds like the girl's confused too. (Also, just wondering: As a group, are you all dating the same girl, or are you all suffering the same problems with different women?) The music video is confusing. And the band name is confusing! All that to say: everyone needs to get on the same page, before the truth becomes a lie. Or has that already happen? Here's hoping you can get your act together, one day. 26.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Aaron Hall "I Miss You" (1993)

Dear Aaron Hall,

When going through personal pain, it's completely natural to go overboard. A sore throat can leave you in bed for days on end; a stomachache could be the end of the world. "All this pain and misery," though, seems a bit much if the cure is seeing her "pretty face." You're acting like she's your liver transplant when she's just a scoop of ice cream, and you could get a spoonful anywhere. Literally, anywhere.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Tyrese "How You Gonna Act Like That" (2003)

Dear Tyrese,

This is you singing this? What happened to the actor Tyrese? The smooth guy from the Coke commercial? Or the tough guy from G.I. Joe? They do say love is blind; I'll give you that. But Black Ty, you're a smart guy...how in the world could you miss the warning signs that your woman was so not into whatever you were giving her, that she dipped the moment you BOUGHT A HOUSE?! And now the best way to tell her, or shame her, or even win her back, is by putting it in a song?? Must be wooden siding on the house, cause this extra sappy. Probably doesn't help the resale value either.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Pleasure P "Did You Wrong" (2009)

Dear Pleasure P,

We say this as a friend, okay? You're in a doomed relationship (and I'm not talking about Pretty Ricky). You cheat on your girl; she cheats on you; you take her back; she takes you back? And that's cool? Man, you're so open, you could just throw away the keys. When you say, "No matter what you do, no matter what you say," do you realize you're giving her the world? Now she has every right to burn down your house, steal your money, and make sex videos with a Nazi. And it's okay, cause you said so. But maybe then you'll write a real tear jerker.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Blackstreet "Don't Leave Me" (1997)

Dear Blackstreet,

Your love may run deeper than the ocean and sea, but your lyrics certainly do not. What the hell does "But if you sail away you'll take the center piece of me" mean?? Is this your 13-year old selves talking about a nautical-themed Bar Mitzvah? Listen, if you were on your knees, with one last chance to woo your leaving lady, is this really the best you could offer? Serenading your lady like this is a Titanic mistake.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Pretty Ricky "Make It Like It Was" (2007)

Dear Pretty Ricky,

You know how your girl knows you're full of nonsense? You say this, as evidence within your plea to win her back: "Picnics at a party, and corn on the cob, real talk."

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Hi-Five "Never Should've Let You Go" (1993)

Dear Hi-Five,

Maturity doesn't just pop up, out of the blue. (You're thinking of cancer.) It seems ridiculously short-sighted to get married as a means of resolving a fight. On top of that, it seems really unromantic, like putting an emoji diamond ring in a text with a question mark after it. But hey, maybe that's how they do it in your culture, or maybe you just have zero idea of how to fix problems. Maybe when your toilet clogs, you use the sink.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Ruben Studdard "Sorry 2004" (2003)

Dear Ruben Studdard,

Big man, big apology? No. When you released this song in December 2003, you listed all the wrongs you'd committed consistently over the course of the previous twelve months. And on top of that, you make it clear that you were gonna start the new year with one giant one. What kind of game plan is that? Were you expecting your lady to stay after you forewarned her of whatever mess was on the way? Or were you expecting more women to flock once they heard you sounding like a first grader with your sorrys? Ruben, it may be nine years after the fact, but better to get it in your head now: You're never gonna get under the covers by using a blanket apology.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Mario "How Do I Breathe" (2007)

Dear Mario,

Get. Over. It. There's something so sad about someone who just refuses to let things go. The balloon popped, and you're just holding the string, hoping it'll fly upwards again. It's not going to happen. There are no time machines, there are no ways to re-inflate popped balloons, and there are no ways for me to help you until learn to help yourself. We understand that pain hurts and that loss can be a tough thing to deal with. But the heart is a graphic meant to sell greeting cards, and you are a grown-up human person whose body and mind are built to overcome these things. Stop wallowing and start breathing.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Devon Howard "The Other Side of the Bed" (2007)

Dear Devon Howard,

Dog. She's not coming home, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can go about living your life and letting your durag flap in the breeze. We don't care if you consult a therapist or a Ouiji board—truthfully, we don't really care at all—but this seems like an actual problem. Well, let us rephrase that: It seems like you're making it seem like an actual problem, when it's not. It's sad, sure, but you're making her out to be Mother Teresa...and you better not be freaking out over someone you didn't even freak.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Babyface "Soon As I Get Home" (1990)

Dear Babyface,

The worst part about this list is that there's nothing wrong with treating a woman nicely. In fact, we encourage it! But there's a difference between paying her respect and emptying out your wallet. It's like the kid who wants to be middle-school class president, and he says he's going to install soda machines in the classrooms and get rid of homework. Well, Babyface, if you're not over promising, then you're over delivering. There are some people who will drape their jacket over a puddle so their girlfriend can walk over it, but you're the type of guy who lays himself face-down in the muck and waits to feel footsteps on his back.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Dru Hill "In My Bed" (1997)

Dear various members of Dru Hill,

What a heartbreaker. It's gotta be so tough to put your all into something so meaningful—sweat and (probably) tears—and just as the big moment approaches, you get the terrible news that you've put your trust in the absolute wrong place. It's like when you're in the middle of a radio interview, announcing your group's return to making music, and then Woody takes the opportunity to say that he's quitting Dru Hill and turning to religion and you break up and it's just like WHOOPS GUESS THAT DIDN'T GO SO WELL. So, if nothing else, you're probably used to that feeling by now.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex

Song: Mario Winans "I Don't Wanna Know" (2004)

Dear Mario Winans,

Lemme get this straight...You don't wanna know that your girl has been fooling around behind your back? And you tell the whole world via your first big single on Bad Boy? Bad boy is right. You should go to your room and think about what you've done. What kind of nonsense is this?! Do you realize that you've shut down the lines of communication, you've redefined the meaning of trust, and oh yeah, just gave every girl you see from now on license to cheat on you?! No wonder you wear sunglasses indoors, cause you're always looking the other way.

You're pathetic.

Sincerely,

Complex