The Oral History of The Rihanna 150: A #777 Tour Survival Story

Day Six: Berlin to London

Venue: Kentish Town Forum

With everything running behind schedule, the crew finally embarks on their last European leg of the tour—London’s Kentish Town Forum. Insanity ensues.

Jason Newman: Leaving Berlin and it's bedlam. An anti-party cacophony of delirium.

Maud Deitch: I'm taking bets on what time we'll actually leave for London? My money is on 4:45 AM.

J. Escobedo Shepherd: I am so exhausted and we don't have a hotel and we're like 5-7 hours behind schedule in every city and I don't remember my life "pre."

Tim Dormer: It's quickly become evident everyone hates the [Australians on the plane]. Either they are struggling for content or I am really annoying!

Mary H.K. Choi: I just need to see some fucking daylight.

J. Escobedo Shepherd: I am definitely an insane person.

Mary H.K. Choi: Some of us are called 'wardens' now.

Soo-Young Kim: When can I get some vitamin D?

Jeff Rosenthal: I'm not dead. My brain is.

Erika Ramirez: Friends: if you're concerned for our health & sanity (now or for later down the line), meet us at JFK Tuesday morning with food, water and hugs.

Jeff Rosenthal: Please God make this end.

Soo-Young Kim: I want to cry.

Julieanne Smolinski: We ate a guy from MuchMusic alive. He yelled "CHOKE ON EM! ALSO WATCH MUCHMUSIC!"

Elliott Wilson: On our way to London.

Soo-Young Kim: A revolution is happening.

Mary H.K. Choi: I don't remember your face. It's getting so dark. And cold. Plus hives. So very many hives. I will eat the Australians first.

And then, for lack of a better technical term: Shit went down.

Jason Newman: So yeah, the 777 Tour plane staged a revolution against Rihanna on flight between Berlin and London.

J. Escobedo Shepherd: THE MUTINY FINALLY HAPPENED on [the Berlin to Londone flight]. People chanting "RIHANNA! SAVE OUR JOBS!" WE ALL COLLECTIVELY LOST IT AT THE SAME TIME.

Jason Newman: Crowd chanted "Just one quote!," "I need a headline!" and "Occupy 777."

Mary H.K. Choi: There is no quiet car.

Elliott Wilson: Mutiny!

Mary H.K. Choi: We should start a fight club.

Tim Dormer: My clothes fell off.

The Australians have cracked. But the plane was thankful for laughter; their spirits had risen and they revolted—shouting, cheering, laughing as one. 

Jason Newman: Aussie journo stripped naked and ran around the plane.

ElliottWilson: Australian dude butt naked streaked.

Mary H.K. Choi: The Australian with the harmonica STREAKED the plane as the press corp chanted.

Elliott Wilson: Tim "TMZ" Dormer.

Maud Deitch: I have such mixed feelings regarding the Australian motherfucker [with] the harmonica. He just streaked on the plane and it was just the most.

Jeff Rosenthal: That thing where everyone starts screaming for Rihanna to leave her panic room on the plane and she doesn't come out but it's the best.

Elliott Wilson: We need headlines.

Jeff Rosenthal: You guys have NO idea. Memories. 

Erika Ramirez: ... And after the chanting, streaking and singing Rihanna still didn't come out. Overheard: "Bitch, I know you hear us."

Jeff Rosenthal: "Hi Rihanna"—Royce Da 5'9; no one on this trip.

Jason Newman: Who's starting the sleep check?

Erika Ramirez: Overheard: "Calm them down with alcohol."

Elliott Wilson: It's serious business when Steve Bartels breaks out the D'usse to soothe the savage beasts. What more can I say?

Mary H.K. Choi: We just lost Internet.

J. Escobedo Shepherd: I might actually want you to pray for a crash, like putting maimed horses out of our misery.

Short of the guy manning the Israeli Defense Force's social media presence, at this moment, Gabe Tesoriero officially became the most embattled publicist in the world. This is what sociologists refer to as "Stockholm Syndrome":

Maud Deitch: WE LOVE YOU GABE!!

And yet, the truth is out there:

Mary H.K. Choi: “Some day, before we die, I’ll tell you my version of the story,”  Gabe T said.

The group landed in London:

Elliott Wilson: Wheels down! London.

Tim Dormer: I think I’ve almost emptied this plane of all the Grey Goose available.

Maud Deitch: I haven't slept in over 24 hours, but it's ok because time stopped on [the second day]. London gets to see all of our craziest selves.

Elliott Wilson: I could tell you about Rihanna Plane but that would be a long story.

Erika Ramirez: Wednesday feels so far away. 

Jeff Rosenthal: It's not that we've been kept on buses and planes and not allowed to get food or air or sleep or anything.

Tim Dormer: At least now when you Google my name doesn't just come up with 'the guy who pashed Ke$ha'. Can now add nudist to the list.

Erika Ramirez: Need ‘We Survived the 777 Tour’ shirts by mañana.

Maud Deitch: Feeling like the British version of Eloise in this hotel right now.

Tim Dormer: I think I'm just your average Aussie guy who likes to have fun, sometimes with my clothes off.

Erika Ramirez: Mi hungry.

Some journalists went to get their nails done, others scarfed down British food, and others scurried back to their hotel for the WiFi. Two shows left, and the crew couldn’t be happier. The light at the end of the tunnel started to emerge:

Tim Dormer: Scared to think what I'll do next.

Elliott Wilson: Everything's gonna Rih alright. 

Tim Dormer: Word from Rihanna’s entourage is she's impressed with my nudie run, no word yet if she will accept my challenge for a dual streak!

Jason Newman: Forgot what city we were in until "Cockney Rhyming Slang" was category on game show.

Julieanne Smolinski: English food: so weird, right?

Elliott Wilson: Hotel wifi is Speedy Gonzales. All is forgiven.

J. Escobedo Shepherd: LDN winning for cutest people in the clurb, but not on the street. Sorry streetwalking people of London.

And another show started. Someone else started to show signs of wear as well, now:

Erika Ramirez: "Why is the track off from the band?" on "Where Have You Been?"

Soo-Young Kim: Noticed Rihanna started singing "Where Have You Been" one beat early and dreaded what would come...Track kicked in and she had to start over.

J. Escobedo Shepherd: I just started laughing and crying at the same time.

Erika Ramirez: Is she tips?

J. Escobedo Shepherd: Soooo wavy on British cough syrup tho.

Erika Ramirez: Overheard: "I don't know if I'm drunk. I have no idea if I'm drunk."

Elliott Wilson: And a young girl just passed out by the bar.

J. Escobedo Shepherd: Oh shit LDN gonna riot when they realize she's not actually doing "Take Care." SOLIDARITY THO!

Erika Ramirez: Please escort the dude with the umbrella out.

Elliott Wilson: I'm gonna stick it out to the end.

Would he, though?

CLICK HERE FOR DAY SEVEN: NEW YORK CITY, TEARS AND RIRI APPEARS

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