There's no day more amazingly judgment-free than March 17th. When else can you throw on a skinned Gumby, chug morning stouts with a sesame bagel and not even be Irish? Only on St. Patrick's Day. To help keep the celebration live, we compiled a countdown of our 25 favorite alcohol-related rap songs that are fit for pre-gaming, boozing and tonguing the pub toilet. Let us know in the comments if we forgot your favorite joint, because—full disclosure—we were drunk as fuck when we made this list. Party, party, party let's all get wasted!!!
Words By Tracy Garraud
#25: Ludacris f/ Shawnna "Everybody Drunk" (2009)
Drunken Quotable: "Tell 'em I'm far from sober/Cause if the po po happen to pull me over/I'ma just tell 'em everybody wit me drunk as fuck!"
Complex Says: Luda's had a clump of spirited songs—he even dropped a mixtape shamelessly promoting his new cognac, Conjure—but this is by the far the most blitzed. Though the song has three versions flowing through the Internets, we toast to the original featuring Shawnna.
#24: Jim Jones f/ Diddy, Paul Wall & Jha Jha "What You Been Drankin' On?" (2005)
Drunken Quotable: "Cause you ain't drunk, nigga!/ You ain't drunk, nigga!/ 'Til that sizzurp and Henny is in your cup, nigga!"
Complex Says: For a second or a half, sizzurp wasn't just a Southern thang. Jimmy used this twinkle and bounce cut to promote his own purple punch, which jacked it's name from the infamous codeine concoction. But capitalism aside, anyone who can go shot-for-shot with Puffy must be able to hold their liquor. We're lookin' at you, Jha Jha.
#23: The Game f/ Kokane "Hard Liquor" (2008)
Drunken Quotable: "You know me I turn them 40 bottles upside down/Like niggas with dead homies till it's empty like my four pound/Niggas thinkin' I'm drunk/ Reach for my N.W.A chain and get your ass beat wit da pump."
Complex Says: Game may look like a dating show vet with a butterfly on his cheek, but after gulping some bitter beverage he's fucking girls with a pistol to their head. Whoa! Well, at least he's not crying on this one.
#22: Kanye West f/ Mos Def "Drunk And Hot Girls" (2007)
Drunken Quotable: "Stop talking about your boyfriend since he is not me/ Stop running up my tab cause these drinks is not free."
Complex Says: This slurred song from Graduation was definitely the weakest link on a classic album, but who can't relate to the sentiment? Just be sure to keep a bedside bucket for sloppy Sue.
#21: Asher Roth "I Love College" (2009)
Drunken Quotable: "Do something' crazy! Do somethin' crazy!/ Do something' crazy! Do somethin' crazy!"
Complex Says: Who better to reflect on fried and wild college nights than hip-hop's friendliest white boy. Brings us back to that one time we convinced shorty with the huge areolas to do a keg stand in our pants.
CLICK "NEXT" TO SEE #20 through #16...
#20: Nas "Drunk By Myself" (1999)
Drunken Quotable: "Only if I could take care of everybody, intoxicated/Windows up blastin A.C. going wherever instinct takes me/I hate it when I'm like this/The bottle's my accomplice"
Complex Says: Not every drink's a toast to the good life. Nasir spins the bottle solo on this dark narrative from his 2002 grab bag project, The Lost Tapes. Guess it's easy to resort to alcoholism when Uncle Sam's patting your pockets every month like a gold digger. Let's hope crazy Kelis doesn't make this a two-parter.
#19: Cassidy "My Drink N My 2 Step" (2007)
Drunken Quotable: "I do my 2 step/And let the link swing/hold the drink with the left hand and show the pink ring"
Complex Says: Cass returned (again!) in '07 from an eight-month jail stint with some new jigs and a swill. His new album might be M.I.A., but word is that Cass is working on getting an endorsement deal from Patron, thanks to this song. Fuck rap!
#18: J-Kwon "Tipsy" (2004)
Drunken Quotable: "Liquor wasted on me man, son of a bitch/Brush it off now I'm back to getting lit/Wit some orange juice man, this some good ish"
Complex Says: Before J-Kwon was lost (at the bottom of the 99-cent bargain bin) and found (at the bottom of the 99-cent bargain bin), his fizzy 2004 hit got burn at every sloshy teen's parental-free night of hurling 151. Oh wait, those kids were us.
#17: Above The Law "V.S.O.P" (1992)
Drunken Quotable: "If you wanna feel fine/ free your mind to the mega shots of V.S.O.P./Now you gotta get hype/ And you'll turn into G with a little bit of V.S.O.P"
Complex Says: Famous for working with both Dr. Dre and Eazy-E, this slept-on Cali crew swore that a sip of something special could flip even the most pussy-whipped gent to a G on this feel-good liquor tribute from their third album Black Mafia Life.
#16: Birdman f/ Lil Wayne "Pop Bottles" (2007)
Drunken Quotable: "Okay start with straight shots and then pop bottles/ Pour it on the models, shut up bitch swallow/ If you cant swallow, shut up bitch gargle"
Complex Says: Birdman's winning single may not promote sloppy Saturdays at the pub, but the Jadakiss sample on the hook provides the perfect instructions on how to mark that special occasion while throwing money around in the club. Plus, it could help you finally get a model wet.
CLICK "NEXT" TO SEE #15 through #11...
#15: Body Head Bangerz f/ YoungBloodz "I Smoke, I Drank (Remix)" (2004)
Drunken Quotable: "I smoke, I drank and wanna stop but I cant/ So I guess it's smoking, drankin all the way to the bank"
Complex Says: A drinking song countdown wouldn't be complete without the Drankin' Patnaz, but J-Bo and Sean Paul's most memorable intoxication anthem is actually this collabo that became an underground smash for Roy Jones, Jr.'s label. Ya'll must've forgot!
#14: Eminem f/ 50 Cent & Dr. Dre "Crack A Bottle" (2009)
Drunken Quotable: "So crack a bottle, let your body waddle/Don't act like a snobby model/You just hit the lotto"
Complex Says: After all the soul-breaking shit Em went through during his hiatus, this cork-popper felt just like the good ol' days. Who knew sober Marshall could sound so good!
#13: Jim Jones f/ Juelz Santana & Ron Browz "Pop Champagne" (2008)
Drunken Quotable: "Only Patron and a couple of lemons/Ten thousand dollars stuffed up in the denims"
Complex Says: Before the R&B alchies caught heavy rotation, Jimmy, Juelz, and a whole lotta Auto-Tune were busing making their drinking habits seem classy. We leavin' with the models.
#12: N.O.R.E "Drink Champ" (2007)
Drunken Quotable: "But I don't drink that Hypnotiq bullshit/That ain't a man's drink/That Alize is bullshit/Ask my nigga Prodigy how I go out/He was drinking in my studio and nearly fell out"
Complex Says: If Noreaga's warning you that he packs an "iron liver," prevent incoming embarrassment and drop that shot glass, son. Dude makes beer pong look like child's play.
#11: Busta Rhymes f/ P. Diddy & Pharrell "Pass The Courvoisier Part II" (2002)
Drunken Quotable: "I said Busta/ You leave them girl rollin... and it look like/They asses is swollen/ But if your man babysittin/ Then what you gon' say... "
Complex Says: Though this might as well have been called "Yo Courvoisier (Endorse Ya Man!)," we're not mad at Busta's liquor cosign. After its silly video featured pre-Oscar Mo'Nique getting her toe stomped out ("I'll do it again!"), Napolean's supposed cognac of choice stopped looking so much like counterfeit Henny.
CLICK "NEXT" TO SEE #10 through #6...
#10: The Alkaholiks f/ 'Ol Dirty Bastard "Hip-Hop Drunkies" (1997)
Drunken Quotable: "I divide square MC's like math/ Bend you in half and drink a Genuine Draft"
Complex Says: Most artists would have a hard time going to-to-toe with The Alkaholiks on a song about alcohol, but Big Baby Jesus ain't most artists. Wu-Tang's wild child took the party to the next level on this classic single from the crew's star-studded album Likwidation. Stop drinking all that muthafuckin' water!
#9: The Click "Hurricane" (1995)
Drunken Quotable: "Hurricane, but you can call me slurricane/ Slurricane, strong enough to start a engine mayne"
Complex Says: Way before E-40 went the dumb, his Click got stupid drunk off their favorite malt liquor with this classic ode to the ol' Slurricane that's half celebration and half cautionary tale.
#8: Young Black Teenagers "Tap The Bottle (Twist The Cap)" (1992)
Drunken Quotable: "Tap a cap, have a lot and not a lot not a little/Don't grade upon the label take a guzzle, don't dribble"
Complex Says: They might be remembered as an ironic joke in hip-hop history, but you can't front on this ode to the 40 ounce from this Long Island crew who were neither black nor teenagers. Their sole national hit jacked Das Efx's style to the fullest, but it's still a great soundtrack when you're trying to get triggity-trashed.
#7: Gucci Mane f/ Plies "Wasted" (2009)
Drunken Quotable: "Party, party, party, let's all get wasted/Shake it for me baby girl, do it butt naked/I'm so wasted, she so wasted shout the bartender/Send 20 more cases"
Complex Says: Only a few years after dropping the definitive pill-popping anthem ("Pillz"), Gucci found a new level of success with his bid for alcohol anthem supremacy. But Radric's single wasn't just about getting inanely trashed; it upheld some social dignity as well, uniting goons and binge-drinking white boys everywhere for the love of brimming red cups.
#6: Mobb Deep f/ Q-Tip "Drink Away The Pain (Situations)" (1995)
Drunken Quotable: "I used to be in love with this bitch named E&J/ Don't fuck with her anymore now I fuck with Tanqueray"
Complex Says: Hav and Prodigy go deep on this joint from The Infamous that struggles with their love of certain beverages. We're still trying to figure out why Q-Tip is rapping about clothes, though. Native Tongues get twisted too!
CLICK "NEXT" TO SEE #5 through #1...
#5: NWA "8 Ball"
Drunken Quotable: "Stepped in the park I was drunk as hell/Three bitches already said, "Eric your breath smells!"
Complex Says: Take it from Eazy—if you don't want to fuck with a Compton gangster when he's sober, you don't want to fuck with him when he's drunk. Seriously.
#4: Iconz "Get Fucked Up" (2001)
Drunken Quotable: "Yo get fucked up, stay fucked up/Roll to the club in a navigator truck"
Complex Says: A staple on BET's Uncut (and retitled "Get Crunked Up" for the kids), this balls-out, lo-fi party anthem from three Miami dudes (and a girl!) had the whole country buzzing for a minute. Looks like their career might've passed out shortly after.
#3: Beastie Boys "Brass Monkey" (1987)
Drunken Quotable: "Cause I drink it anytime and anyplace/When it's time to get ill, I pour it on my face"
Complex Says: Jungle Juice isn't the only liquid that can get you free twos. In 1987 when three genius schmucks danced away from conformity and made their hip-hop debut, not only were we left with a classic album, but a classic bra-peeling drink as well.
#2: The Alkaholiks "Only When I'm Drunk" (1993)
Drunken Quotable: "Yeah, I get drunk and can't nobody whoop me/I'm trippin, must be the brew that I was sippin."
Complex Says: The West Coast has its fair share of liquor lovers, but no one does it quite like Tash and J-Ro, as heard on this classic flip of "Seven Minutes Of Funk" from their debut 21 & Over. Listen to hear the Liks spilling more drunken honesty than an inebriated priest. Amen.
#1: Snoop Doggy Dogg "Gin & Juice" (1994)
Drunken Quotable: "Now, that, I got me some Seagram's gin/ Everybody got they cups, but they ain't chipped in/ Now this types of shit, happens all the time/ You got to get yours but fool I gotta get mine"
Complex Says: This ode to Seagrams and Tanqueray from Doggystyle soundtracked so many house parties that everyone from fiddling rednecks to Chubb Rock recorded their own version. These days, the now 38-year-old might want to leave the liver fuck-ups to young Nipsey.
• CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE COMPLEX MUSIC POSTS...