MEMBERS: DMX, Ja Rule, Jay-Z
BEST KNOWN SONG: "It's Murda," from Ja Rule's unbelievably poorly spelled Venni Vetti Vecci
DID THEY RELEASE AN ALBUM?: Nope! Fame and ego (and possibly crack) split the collective apart before anything could pop off.
MEMBERS: Black Milk, Guilty Simpson, Sean Price
BEST KNOWN SONG: "Monster Babies"
DID THEY RELEASE AN ALBUM?: Not yet! But they're going to--we swear. You need something to listen to while eating turkey bacon and doing pull-ups on the stoplight, right?
OHP (OFFICIAL HARDBODY POTENTIAL) RATING:
MEMBERS: Crooked I, Joe Budden, Joell Ortiz, Royce da 5'9"
BEST KNOWN SONG: "The One"
DID THEY RELEASE AN ALBUM?: About to! August 11 is the supposed day. Better, uh, get in line now.
RATING (IF YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT PUNCHLINES):
MEMBERS: C-Murder, Master P, Silkk the Shocker (though it originally included everyone from Mia X to someone named Daniel Fry, who we're guessing was their accountant)
BEST KNOWN SONG: "I Always Feel Like (Somebody's Watching Me)," off 1997's Tru 2 da Game
DID THEY RELEASE AN ALBUM?: Yup! Almost as many as they had original members, in fact: 6, including indie releases and a 2005 comeback on Koch.
MEMBERS: Goldie Loc, Kam, MC Eiht
BEST KNOWN SONG: "Shackled Up" off Snoop's 2006 album Tha Blue Carpet Treatment
DID THEY RELEASE AN ALBUM?: Nope! They're reportedly looking for distribution. In related news, they might want to look into getting a Delorean.
MEMBERS: Aesop Rock, Breeze Brewin, Cage, El-P, Tame One, Yak Ballz (Former members include the late Camu Tao, the lumped-up Copywrite, the enormous Vast Aire, and the loquacious Jakki da Motormouth)
BEST KNOWN SONG: "Left It To Us," off Cage's emotastic 2005 album Hell's Winter
DID THEY RELEASE AN ALBUM?: Kinda! There was the 2003 mixtape The Conspiracy, and rumors continue to circulate in frighteningly earnest corners of the Internet about a Def Jux release for the backpackers, but nothing yet.
RATING (IF YOU'RE WHITE):
MEMBERS: Ice Cube, Mack 10, WC
BEST KNOWN SONG: "Bow Down," which featured Cube's immortal line "Everybody freeze, on your knees—butt naked, please!" Such a polite young man.
DID THEY RELEASE AN ALBUM?: Yup! Two, in fact: The platinum Bow Down (1996) and '03's Terrorist Threats
RATING (IF YOU KNOW WHERE SLAUSON):