People love to talk about lyrics: punchlines, puns, double meanings, you name it. And no one is as fond of his own cleverness as one Shawn Carter. To that end, Jiggaman has reportedly inked a deal to write a book called Decoded, wherein he delves into his own inexhaustible arsenal of wit and wordplay to explain what he meant by many of his favorite lines. "I'm gonna pick the select ones," he told a radio DJ, "all the double entendres and things that people may have missed or may have gotten and want confirmation on it." Forgive us if we were a little skeptical at first, but it just didn't sound like anything we'd want to shell out $24.95 for ($9.95 for the Kindle edition—holla at us, Jeff Bezos!).

But as with so many times before, it turned out that we were wrong. We got a look at a preview of Decoded, and the shit is absolute fire! If you thought you knew what was going through Jay's mind when he penned his joints (without the pen), you had no idea. Even his not-so-incredible tracks are testament to his penchant for cryptic allusion and restless philosophical examination. Don't believe us? Peep the excerpt below* to see the thought process behind his 2003 hit "Change Clothes." And you thought it was just about girls and brand names...

"Change Clothes" featuring Pharrell, (2003)

Uh, uh, uh, yeah, uh, your boy is back

Jay Says:[I wrote that line right after I became a board-certified chiropractor--big up yourself, Palmer College of Chiropractic, Davenport Campus!]

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(Sexy sexy) I know y'all miss the bounce

Jay Says: [I had just gotten Memph Bleek a pogo stick for Christmas, but lil' homie wouldn't stop jumping around the studio when i was in the booth. Instead of grounding him, though, I threw him in the verse.]

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Yeah ma, your dude is back, Maybach coupe is back

Jay Says: [Funny story: what I actually said was "May McCoo is back"--you know, because I've always been a huge Marilyn McCoo fan. But people got it twisted, and then I had to buy a fucking $400,000 car because of it.]

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Tell the whole world the truth is back
You ain't got to argue about who could rap

Jay Says: [As that standard was firmly established in my 1997 treatise "Morphology and Microphones: High-Speed Articulation of Labial Plosives and the Art of Hip-Hop," which I presented at the International Symposium on Linguistic Diversity and Language Theories in Colorado]

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Cause the proof is back just go through my rap
New York New York yeah where my troopers at
Where my hustlers where my boosters at

Jay Says: [Most people think I'm talking about shoplifting here, but it's actually a plea for booster shots for measles, mumps and rubella. My mom was convinced that childhood vaccination would lead to autism, so as a result I'm extremely susceptible to many diseases found in developing countries--which makes touring a bitch.]

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I don't care what you do for stacks
I know the world glued you back to the wall
You gotta brawl? do that
I been through that

Jay Says: [Pro wrestling aficionados may remember my short-lived WWF stint as Suplex Shawn!]

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...been shot at, shoot back
Gotta keep it peace like a Buddhist

Jay Says: [And as we all know, the Buddha said "He who experiences the unity of life sees his own Self in all beings, and all beings in his own Self, and looks on everything with an impartial eye." Chuuuuch!]

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I ain't a New Jack, nobody gon' Wesley Snipe me

Jay Says: [I, uh, don't pay taxes. Sorry, Barack.]

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It's less than likely, move back
Let I breathe Jedi knight

Jay Says: [This is actually about Jed I. Knight, my accountant at the time. He was concerned about my rising energy costs, so I switched to natural gas in the winter and solar-powered air-conditioning in the summer. Ask me how you too can slash bills by up to 35%!]

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The more space I get the better I write

Jay Says: [This is actually true--a lower concentration of particulates in the atmosphere allows my pen's ink to achieve optimal flow while maintaining the viscosity necessary to slay you wack ni**as. There's an offshoot of Pascal's Principle of Fluid Dynamics that pertains here, but as you well know I explore that in full on the remix version of the song.]

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(Change clothes and go)
You know I stay, fresh to death I brought you from the projects
And I'm a take you to the top of the globe

Jay Says: [Before I met B, my favorite second-date activity was actually a sled-dog expedition to the North Pole. That's the REAL Byrd gang, you dig?]

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(Exchange numbers and go)
Uh huh yeah, uh
(Now girl I promise you, no substitute)

Jay Says: [My contract rider explicitly forbids Splenda, Equal, non-dairy creamer and TCBY. I keeps it real!]

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It's just me
And I'm gon' tell you again let's get ghost in the phantom
You could bring your friend we could make this a tandem

Jay Says: [Contrary to popular opinion, this line wasn't about a menage. Been there, done that. I was speaking on tandem bicycles. Them shits is crazy! This one never caught on though, kinda like calling shoes Scooby-Doos, but hey, I tried. Wheel talk.]

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You could come by yourself and you could stand him
Best believe I sweat out weaves, give afropuffs like R.A.G.E.

Jay Says: [I'm also servin' 'em like two scoops of chocolate, but that line was already taken. Plus, y'know, ayo!]

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Haryouken If you could move it
Back it on up like a U-Haul truck
Then run and tell them ducks you heard Hovi knew shit

Jay Says: [I loved Catcher In The Rye in high school—I always related to young Holden Caulfield, especially his curiosity about where the ducks in Central Park go during the winter. I still don't know, but The Black Album was such a big 4th quarter release, I felt like people should tell the ducks about it before they skated off for the season. I move birds like an Oriole fitted, son.]

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He and the boy Pha-real make beautiful music
He is to the east coast what Snoop is to the west coast, what 'Face is to Houston
Young Hov in the house it's so necessary
No bra with the blouse it's so necessary

Jay Says: [Fun fact about me: I love saggy pancake titties. Me and Ty Ty call those girls Mrs. Butterworths.]

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No panties and jeans that's so necessary
Now why you fronting on me is that necessary
Do I to you look like a lame

Jay Says:[This was really just me showing off on some emcee shit. Some rappers have spit lyrics in Spanish, or even French, but they really can't see me with the Yoda structure. Dagobah, I see you!]

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Who don't understand a broad with a mean shoe game
Who's up on Dot Dot Dot and Vera Wang

Jay Says: [I wasn't talking about anyone in particular here, it was a genuinely question. Who the fuck knows about Dot Dot Dot and Vera Wang? You're a grown ass woman—worry about some real shit, not shoe brands. If you want a brand to think about, I'll give you A. Wang. Holla!]

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Young Hov in the house it's so necessary
No bra with that blouse it's so necessary

Jay Says: [Mrs. Butterworth let's go!]

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No panties and jeans that's so necessary
Why you fronting on me?
Let's go to my hotel cause this don't go well
With those S Dots, gotta stay fresh ma

Jay Says: [I guess now's a decent time to admit that S Dots suck. Seriously, they don't go with anything.]

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Ma, I don't shop what the rest buy
Oh no ma please respect my
Jiggy, this is probably Purple Label
Or that BBC shit

Jay Says: [I just adore UK television, don't you? I find Upstairs, Downstairs to be a complete gas!]

* Yes, this is a parody. You some type of lawyer or somethin', somebody important or somethin'?