Yo Win: come see me son. Leave the hurdy gurdy at home.
Proving that rappers aren't the only musicians with thin skin and too much time on their hands, indie rockers Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips (above, left) and Win Butler of the Arcade Fire(above, right) have apparently ignited a much-dreaded hipster beef this week. First Coyne went in on Butler and his group, saying that AF "really treat people like shit" and calling them "pricks." Butler then fired back, questioning whether Coyne is the "best judge if we are righteous, kind and goodhearted people." (Ho snap! That's cold.) Last we heard, Coyne was planning a series of Worldstar diss videos featuring his alter ego Slouchin' Spencer and had unearthed photos of Butler littering. Slow down, people! Increase the peace before somebody's ironic t-shirt gets ripped!
Sadly, this isn't the first case of rock n' rollers squabbling (just the most pathetic), and we've compiled an exhaustive list of six-string mudslinging, complete with their rap beef equivalents, in case you need some translation. Enjoy'just don't step on our blue suede shoes (bitch)...
NEIL YOUNG VS. LYNYRD SKYNYRD
Taking exception to lyrics in Young's songs "Southern Man" and "Alabama," Skynyrd penned "Sweet Home Alabama" featuring the line: "I hope Neil Young will remember/A Southern man don't need him around, anyhow." The beef didn't last long though, with Skynyrd frontman Ronnie Van Zant later rocking Neil Young tees in concert, and Young playing "Sweet Home" in concert after members of LS were killed in a plane crash.
• RAP BEEF EQUIVALENT: Tim Dog vs. Compton's Most Wanted
MICK JAGGER VS. KEITH RICHARDS
The fellow Rolling Stones started beefing publicly in the mid-'80s when Jagger embarked on a solo career and called the Stones "tired old men." Of course they've managed to stay together another 25+ years (funny how making shitloads of money will do that) even though Keith mocked Mick onstage for having a "small cock" in 2005.
• RAP BEEF EQUIVALENT: Cam'ron vs. Jim Jones
DAVID LEE ROTH VS. VAN HALEN
Roth's been beefing with his former group since the mid-'80s when he was fired/quit and went solo, with DLR once saying his replacement Sammy Hagar would "sell the property rights to his butthole to get fame."
• RAP BEEF EQUIVALENT: Ice Cube vs. N.W.A.
FLEETWOOD MAC VS. FLEETWOOD MAC
Mainstays of classic rock radio, FM was famous for hoovering tons of coke and sleeping with each other until finally Lindsey Buckingham famously kicked his ex-girlfriend Stevie Nicks onstage (he was too high to remember).
• RAP BEEF EQUIVALENT: Wyclef vs. Lauryn Hill
NIRVANA VS. PEARL JAM
Kurt Cobain accused PJ of being sellouts for having too many guitar solos on their debut album Ten, but that's probably not the reason he killed himself.
• RAP BEEF EQUIVALENT: 3rd Bass vs. The Beastie Boys
KID ROCK VS. TOMMY LEE
Both former husbands of Pamela Anderson, Rock and Lee got into a fight at the 2007 VMAs, but they made up later that evening after sharing some homemade Oxycontin (this last part is, alas, totally made up).
• RAP BEEF EQUIVALENT: Jay-Z vs. Nas
AXL ROSE VS. THE WORLD
Axl Rose hates everything, including, but not limited to: Nirvana, Vince Neil, Skinny Puppy (he hates all puppies), the Stone Roses, Marilyn Manson (used to date Rose Mcgowan), rose petal ice cream and Rosie O'Donnell.
• RAP BEEF EQUIVALENT: 50 Cent vs. the world
DAVE MUSTAINE VS. METALLICA
Mustaine got kicked out 'Allica for drinking and drug use before they got big and he never forgave them for it.
• RAP BEEF EQUIVALENT: Bang 'Em Smurf vs. G-Unit
VARG VIKERNES VS. OYSTEIN "EURONYMOUS" AARSETH
Guitarists for rival Norwegian black metal bands Burzum and Mayhem, Varg and Oystein were once pals, with Euronymous contributing background fist beatings on the Burzum track "Dungeons of Darkness." Then Vikernes started burning churches before eventually stabbing Oystein to death. However, contrary to popular myth, he did not yell "Euronymo!" while doing so.
• RAP BEEF EQUIVALENT: Let's see, dude starts burning churches and then stabs the leader of another group, maybe KRS-One vs. P.M. Dawn? Ah, who the fuck are we kidding, even rap's not that crazy.