Hey, you know that thing where a comedian or writer or general creative tells an admittedly awesome story via a series of tweets and promptly goes viral? Well, we have another one of those today.
This particular batch of tweeted storytelling revolves around the unfortunate terribleness of office work, the hilarity of sticking to a lie against all odds, the importance of lunch, and—most notably—general thievery of the highest degree. Thursday afternoon, Twitter user @ZakToscani informed the planet that a co-worker was enduring the unique existential anguish associated with having one's lunch stolen by a fellow office employee. Instead of just bottling this pain only to implode years later, the particular co-worker decides to get a glimpse at the security footage.
To make matters even more dramatic, the lunch isn't a simple sandwich or some Lunchables bullshit. This is shrimp fried rice we're talking about.
From here, the situation escalates to include troubling details like the fact that the culprit trashed the food instead of eating it and appeared to have no actual motive:
Once the culprit arrives, our narrator is inspired by the silliness of it all to order up a trio of shrimp fried rice plates for himself and those involved with this abhorrent crime.
Thankfully, I work from home and don't have to deal with shit like this.
