It's been a minute since we've had a good #Bae story. Earlier this year, we got #HurtBae, #StrandedBae, #BootBae and #UberBae, damn near back to back. Thankfully, the Twitter gods are still looking out for us. On Monday evening, a woman named Lisette Pylant began live-tweeting a story that went from an IRL nightmare to a viral social media dream. As most of these tales do, it all started with a date. Simple enough, right?
Thread alert: so I go on what I think might be a date with a guy my friends set me up on on my birthday (yes it's a bit hazy).
Uh oh. A birthday date? That's kinda brave, Lisette. But OK... do you, boo. She continues:
I show up and he sucks but I figure I'll stay because my friends are working at the bar
In an interview with Select All, Lisette said the date told her he had friends meeting him at the same bar soon. Meaning, their date would get cut short. In a normal world, this wouldn't be a big deal. But this is not a normal world. This is Earth. And men can be dastardly creative. As such, Lisette quickly picked up on the fact that her date in fact had another woman lined up after her.
I decide to play the friend in order to help the girl feel less awkward until he exits for a moment and then I tell her what's up
But then. But fucking then.
Then the third girl shows up - we'll call her Riley. The guy leaves again and Riley, katie, and I team up and decide to JT Must Die this sit
He's now explaining why he broke up with his ex and Riley asked if he also met her on a "group date" 😂
The two girls and I decided to be best friends, left together to go get drinks and dinner at another bar and left homeboy with the bill 👌🏽
Lisette thought that was the end. Alas, it was not.
JK ITS NOT OVER! The bartender just texted us to tell us homeboy is on another date so I sent my friend over to retrieve his 8pm date
I'm stealing his dates and making them my friends and I'm SO HERE FOR IT pic.twitter.com/88iqDi6mfX
We're now all hanging out at another bar together pic.twitter.com/jasDbaDQCL
My friend is now arguing with said guy and his current date (#4) about why she shouldn't waste her time and just leave
MRS. STEAL YOUR GIRL OVER HERE pic.twitter.com/27rY4QJ1EF
I'd be lying if I said my heart wasn't smiling right now. The saga continues:
We've gotten girl #4 (we'll call her claire) to come over once she finishes her date so she can debrief with us. Can someone bring a 🌹?
HE TOLD DATE NUMBER 5 THAT SHE WAS ALREADY CUT AND TO SAY HI TO ME AT THE BAR WHEN SHE I VITED HIM TO COME DRINK WITH US
Just when I thought this dude couldn't exude more fumes of douchebaggery, he outdoes himself.
Tell him if he should just fuck off. I tell him there's a difference between being efficient and being an asshole and he goes into "well im
"...A project manager, I manage my time efficiently." And I say there's no way to know someone in 40 mins of you have 5 dates lined up
My friend walked over and told #5 what was up, got her number and this was their convo pic.twitter.com/y30UP261d5
He tried to say he was looking for love and his future wife. These "weren't dates" they were apparently "pre-date conversations"
In a beautiful, but still WTF conclusion, Lisette revealed that the total number of dates for this dude racked up to six in the end.
WE WENT BACK AND HE WAS WITH #6!
He finally realized he wasn't winning and just walked out. #6 and her mom and aunt are now our new best friends
So where do these ladies go from here? Lisette told Select All, “We’re making a ‘Sister Wives’ group chat and taking selfies and planning a brunch. We’re gonna watch John Tucker Must Die.” An absolutely fitting ending, if there ever was one.
So what should this #Bae story be called? #ManyDateBae? #CaptainSaveABae? #SixForOneBae?
