This all started so simply. ASOS customer Nick just wanted to know the status of his return. Due to the company’s automated customer service bots however, Nick is more confused now than when he started.

Presumably due to the huge amount of transactions, and subsequent customer service issues they deal with, ASOS seems to use some sort of algorithm-driven service to answer basic customer service queries on Facebook. Sometimes though, things don’t go to plan. 

When Nick of Western Australia inquired as to the status of his returned stock, he specified that he has exchanged numerous emails with ASOS, who continually ask for his details. 

The ASOS bot replied by … asking for his details.

When another user asked if this was an automated service, the ASOS bot then asked for her details. This was followed by a (presumably) human rep, who claimed the replies weren’t auto generated.

Despite the fact he is $1200 in the hole, Nick still saw the funny side of this, quoting 2Pac when he told ASOS they ain’t gotta lie to kick it.

Things got worse from there, as more people jumped in, only to receive more nonsensical automated responses from ASOS.

The highlights were the original poster Nick commenting "Haha" which then prompted the bot to once again ask for his details; “Hey Nick- oh no sorry about that. Please pop me a private message with your order number, email address and date of birth so I can check this out for you. Thanks! ASOS Alice”

The automated answers are peppered with Emojis and struggle slang to make them seem personable, but how much can a monkey emoji help when you’re replying to every comment with a request for transaction details?

The original post was made two days ago, but it doesn’t look like Nick has got his $1200 yet. Let’s hope he gets it soon, without having to send his order number, email address and date of birth too many more times.