4 words of wisdom that'll stick with you for life

Image via Complex Original

If you're given an opportunity, you should strike while the iron is hot and take it right away, right? 

Not necessarily.

If the thing you're about to do involves acting an a strong emotion, it may be best to sleep on it, said Mira Zaslove, who credits the advice to Stanford professor Irvin Yalom: "Don't quit your job, leave your spouse, or engage in nasty Facebook feuds when emotions are running hot.  If you have the urge to strike, sleep on it, hit the gym, take a long walk, or binge watch 'The Americans.'"

They describe learning this lesson the hard way after selling stock in a moment of panic when the price went down. Since then, it's gone way up.

"It's not always best to do or say something drastic when I'm tired, pissed off, or otherwise heated," they concluded. 

Obviously, it's good to be decisive. But since that advice isn't particularly useful, Bari Bardhan prefers to advise "simplicity" in decision-making. 

"You either do it or you don't do it. Make a decision and STICK TO IT. Don't make life more complicated than it needs to be," they said, breaking down the different obstacles that stand in the way of this goal: "Analysis paralysis," "desire to satiate ego," and "illusion of incongruence between required ability and actual ability."

Their description of "analysis paralysis" was spot-on: "What really underlies this affliction is cowardliness. Over-analyzing or over-scrutinizing a decision really stems from the inability to make a decision and face the consequences of a decision."

Damn. 

Many of us have been taught to please other people, but a few people mentioned the need to unlearn that message.

"Be selfish," said Vishvmitra Belsare. "Don't love anyone more than you love yourself. Protect your needs and interests from those whom you love."

"Value and utilize yourself," echoed Farah Nusrat. "You are the beginning of your day, and it is you with whom your night ends. Love yourself wholeheartedly before you expect others to love you."

Sometimes we need to be reminded to value ourselves. 

Why does it always seem so hard for people to change? According to Matt Hearnden, ​it's because we're not giving ourselves permission. 

"The only way you'll ever truly change is if you can answer this question with a yes: 'Is it OK for me to change?'" they said. "You'll change when it's OK for you to change."

In other words, our own assumptions are often the biggest barrier holding us back from transforming our lives. 

You'll probably find most of this guidance in a book by an expert somewhere, but sometimes, the best people to give advice are simply the ones who have seen its effects in their own lives.