TED talks and chill: 8 sexy videos to watch with bae

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Humorist and author Mary Roach delivers thoughtful and hilarious insights into the complexities of climaxing. If you and your boo are having a little trouble in that department, this delightfully comedic discussion reveals that your orgasm is as unique and individual as your sexual fantasies. From a woman who can come when a partner brushes her teeth, to Danish pig farmers who tricked their sows into climaxing so they’d produce more piglets, this talk proves that orgasms aren’t a one-size-fits-all experience.

Actress Julia Sweeney recounts how she explained the birds and the bees to her 8-year old daughter, Mulan. Sweeney’s one-woman reenactment takes you back to a time when members of the opposite sex had cooties and the idea of seeing—let alone touching—one of them was just gross.

If you’re feeling a bit jaded, this talk will inject some youthful wonder into how you approach sex, or at the very least, remind you to take it much less seriously.

More often than not, once you’ve caught feelings for someone, jealousy will rear its ugly head (that’s why you’re trolling your bae’s ex on Instagram). But instead of letting jealousy drive your relationship into the ground, consider literary critic Parul Sehgal’s celebration of what she suggests is a highly misunderstood feeling. What’s more, it may give you some perspective on how to confront jealousy and perhaps even overcome it.

How many TED talks are you aware of that start off with pole dancing? This one does.

Sheila Kelley is the founder of S Factor, a pole-dance workout for women that not only makes you sweat, but also helps you get in touch with your body and feminine sexuality. If you’re a woman in a relationship (or a woman period), Kelley points out the ways we’re robbed of our sexuality or shamed for it before we can even begin to understand—let alone enjoy—it.

If the female half of your partnership is struggling with being comfortable in her skin, this talk could a step towards helping her embrace her body.

The institution of marriage is going through a rough patch. They’ve never been easy, but hookup culture and Tinder hasn’t been doing it any favors.

Writer Jenna McCarthy shares an equal parts sardonic and brutally honest look at what makes a marriage last. Spoiler: It’s not watching romcoms together.

In a world where we’re constantly inundated with carefully curated photos and updates from our friends in supposedly happy relationships, it’s easy to fall victim to the belief that your situation isn’t good enough. McCarthy’s refreshing candor about what really makes a marriage work will ease your concerns and make you laugh.

I’ll be blunt: This TED talk is hot.

Nicole Daedone is the founder and CEO of OneTaste, a business that researches and teaches a practice called “orgasmic meditation." Without giving too much away, Daedone describes one very specific orgasm she had, a story that may inspire you enough to pause the video and have one of your own.

She explains that part of what really completes the orgasmic experience is having one with a partner, and sharing that experience together. It’s the physical expression of a desire to connect on a essential level.

How do you keep the spark alive with your partner over time? Well, it starts by listening to this highly intelligent woman talk about keeping the “erotic charge." Psychotherapist Esther Perel points out some of the unrealistic expectations we have for our significant others; by recognizing them, she explains, we can bridge the gap between our perception of love and how we actually experience it.

Dr. Helen Fisher is an anthropologist and human behavior researcher who provides compelling arguments about the evolution of what she calls “romantic love” and its greater social purpose.

But don’t be turned off by the TED talk's title. It focuses far less on why people are unfaithful, and much more on why they pursue relationships in the first place.

By looking at how the brain reacts while in love, Fisher contends that love is not a feeling, but a “drive” that inspires everything from art to murder. According to Fisher, love and partnership are not dead, nor are they vestiges of some long-forgotten social structure. Instead, she paints an optimistic future for relationships that are increasingly defined by equality and cooperation. Sign me up.