Chances are, unless you’ve been in a committed relationship for the better half of a decade, you’ve taken your dating game out of the bar and onto 4G. And while you may not have come across your “type” online, the Internet is home to some very specific, very strange breeds of human.
Here are some of the folks you’ll meet while swiping:
Related: The Worst People of 2017
1. The Brunchin-ista
This girl has plunged the depths of every bottomless mimosa special within a 5-mile radius. Eighty percent of her profile pictures feature a champagne glass in hand. She loves a perfect stack of pancakes more than she’ll ever love you—that is, unless you’re buying.
2. The Tiger Tamer
3. The Yogini
4. The Chauffeur
He’s either an Uber driver or has no friends—why else would this guy's profile picture be a selfie he took in the front seat of his car?
5. The “No Hook-Ups” One-Night Stand
Despite a portfolio of truly epic cleavage pics, this girl's bio adamantly states that she’s not looking for anything casual. She's also conveniently provided a link to her Instagram account—in case you wanted to see what her cleavage looks like in Valencia.
6. The Ray Charles
It’s unclear if this guy is blind since he wears his Ray-Bans in every single one of his profile pictures.
7. The Girl Who’s Only Here for the Pizza
She's mastered the Sandbergian art of leaning in—and hasn’t paid for a meal since. This girl swiped right because you looked like you might have a little disposable income, so consider it a compliment.
8. The Six-Pack Show-Off
His mirror selfies are all sans shirt. This guy's looking for a woman who can overlook his glaring character flaws, and just love him for his washboard abs.
9. The Candid Skydiver
She’s a thrill-seeker—but only when there’s a Groupon and photo-op involved. Despite having jumped from a plane, good luck getting this girl to try anything other than missionary; her adventurous streak stops as soon as her clothes come off.
10. The Burner
He never shuts up about Burning Man. This guy fancies himself the next Steve Jobs, but what he doesn’t understand is that wearing body glitter and doing a bunch of hallucinogens does not a creative genius make. His disdain for monogamy might only be matched by his contempt for gluten.
