The Harsh Truth: How To Get Your Girl To Have A Threesome

The Harsh Truth: How To Get Your Girl To Have A Threesome

Tabatha McGurr is a Brooklyn bred-writer currently residing in Bed-Stuy with her boo and dog Coco. She's been running the Married To The Mob blog for the past six years. In her weekly column, she gives Complex readers insight into what today's young women really think about love, sex, and relationships.

So, you’re in a steady relationship and everything is going great, but you’re starting to fixate on the idea of a threesome and aren’t sure how to ask your girl? Fret not, homies. Every man on Earth has desired multiple partners in bed. It’s hardly taboo anymore. In all honesty, women have those same exact fantasies, but we’re not as quick to act on them in real life. Threesomes might seem simple in theory, but they tend to be like icebergs--there’s always some complex issue beneath the surface that will probably fuck you over later. Some couples can’t even make sex work when it’s just the two of them, so throwing another person in the mix isn’t necessarily the answer. Then again, it might be exactly what you needed. Either way, it’s not the kind of proposition you can just drop on somebody out of thin air. You have to seduce and coax a woman into gradually considering the idea, buttering her up little by little until she’s the one begging to make it happen. Read and learn...

COMMUNICATION IS KEY

You can afford to have miscommunication over a favorite TV show or which restaurant to eat at, but not when it comes to sex. One wrong word or move and your ass could be out. Before trying to push the threesome idea, just put yourself in her shoes. Even if you’re 100% attracted to and in love with your girl, the majority of women will take it as a threat that they’re not longer doing the job for you. You’ve gotta make her understand that it’s not about that, but merely a thought on how to spice up your sex life. That said, if your chick is the type that gets super jealous and stops talking to you just for looking at another woman, don’t ask her. Sussing out your partner’s limitations is extremely crucial. What might have one girl purring can cause another to puke, so proceed with caution and use your best judgement. If she’s into it, start creating a strategy together. It has to feel like a group effort, otherwise she’ll feel excluded, so be sure to include her throughout the whole process. If she thinks she’s not totally controlling the situation, chances are she’ll feel too overwhelmed and overshadowed. Let her choose who, where, when, how much touching is allowed, and if she backs out, don’t be a dickhead and act mad. Just be happy she tried to be a good sport and go through with it.

BE SELECTIVE

This is another incredibly important aspect of executing a proper threesome. It’s also the hardest part. About a year after my man and I got together, we started playing with the idea of a threesome just to stir shit up, but the search turned out to be too exhausting. First of all, you have to decide if you want to do it with a stranger or someone you know. One is awkward because you’ve never met the person and have no idea where they’ve been, and the other is even more awkward because you actually know the person and have to live out the rest of your friendship remembering that night. Let’s say you decide on a stranger. Where do you meet them? The Internet? Craigslist? The club? A swingers party? It’s quite a lot to consider. The easiest way might be to go out with your girl for drinks and eye-fuck hotties you see walking around the spot. If you’re lucky enough, the prey might come to you. No matter what, though, always remember to glove up. You can never be too safe during such escapades.

WHO SAID IT HAS TO BE TWO CHICKS?

When you’re ballsy enough to request a threesome and your girl appeases you, you owe her the same sexual devotion. If guys think they’re the only ones who want to get smashed by two bodies at once, they’re greatly mistaken. So, what if homegirl flips it on you and asks to bring another dude in bed? You can’t just lose your cool and get pissed. That type of hypocrisy is horribly off-putting. Establish some rules if it makes you feel better, like no kissing on the mouth or actual penetration. I know some guys who’d actually get turned on seeing another head blaze their chick, but those are certainly rarer cases. The point is, if you’re not prepared to have a threesome flipped on you, then you probably shouldn’t put too much pressure on your girl. Even if she likes getting down with chicks, it doesn’t seem fair if it’s not a two-way street.

MAKE HER FEEL LIKE THE SPECIAL ONE

Even though your third party will be the guest of honor, it’s still important to make your woman feel like the most important person in the room. The night should feel like an epic date that you’ve both been eagerly awaiting, so break out the good champagne and sour, set a sexy mood, and make your girl feel like you’re lusting after her harder than ever, even when your guest arrives. Most girlfriends in said situation will feel threatened or undesired, so even if the chick you invited looks like Rihanna, keep the focus on your woman. If she doesn’t want you doing certain things with the invited person, respect her wishes and fall back. The fact that you’ve got another horny female in your midst should be enough of a thrill, otherwise you risk bringing the whole evening, and perhaps the relationship, to an abrupt halt. Even more than the threesome itself, it’s the day after that really counts. When you wake up the next morning, give her a big kiss, take her to breakfast, and show her how much you appreciate her being a dope girlfriend.

DON'T GET GREEDY

The worst thing you can do after getting hooked up with a generous threesome is to go ahead and get greedy for more. Just because she said yes once, doesn’t mean she’s gotta say it again, and if you can tell she’s over it, then fall back and stick to fantasizing. Call me old-fashioned, but if you’re having threesomes every other weekend, the exclusivity of your relationship kind of fizzles. Not that there’s any problem with being a swinger, but if that’s the type of set-up you desire, you might have to reconsider your role as a “monogamous” boyfriend.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Like with all matters pertaining to sex, it really depends on the individual. You might find a girl who’s threesome-crazy and fulfills your every wildest dream, or you might finally get the menage-a-trois you craved only to be let down in the end. Either way, I wish you the absolute best of luck. Follow my guidance, think before you say stupid shit, and always use protection.

Tags: tabatha-mcgurr, sex-advice, relationships, married-to-the-mob, the-harsh-truth
blog comments powered by Disqus