The Harsh Truth: Why Your Girl Wants to Have Sex with Your Friend

The Harsh Truth: Why Your Girl Wants to Have Sex with Your Friend
Tabatha McGurr is a Brooklyn bred-writer currently residing in Bed-Stuy with her boo and dog Coco. She's been running to the Married To The Mob blog for the past six years. In her weekly column, she gives Complex readers insight into what today's young women really think about love, sex, and relationships.
When it comes to betrayal in a relationship, there are two cardinal sins: sleeping with a partner's relative, or sleeping with one of their friends. The thought alone is enough to make me cringe, but that sort of shit goes down all the time, and not just on Maury. I've never crept on a guy with one of his friends, so I reached out to some ladies in my database for some perspective. Here's what I found out...


Most couples start off as acquaintances first, two people who know one another amongst a vast social group. During that preliminary stage, we're checking everyone out. Girls seek out clusters of dudes at bars and evaluate them from afar, one-by-one, singling out the hottest and the least fuckable ones. At that point, we just have to see what comes to us. Sometimes the guy we end up getting wifed by is the complete opposite of the one we originally intended on, but that doesn't make those unanswered desires for his homie disappear.


Chances are that you and your boys have similar personalities, so if a chick was drawn to yours, she'll be drawn to theirs, too. Your single homie is the epitome of everything she no longer has in a monogamous relationship—carefree, on the prowl, openly macking every girl he sees. He's a constant reminder of what she could have if she were still single, and since your friends are probably around semi-often, it's only normal that she'd check them out every once in a while. Shit, maybe they're funnier and nicer than you and you don't realize it. Be weary, because at some point she might even hit you with the "Why can't you be more like your friend?" question.


Sometimes after an argument erupts between you in public, the only person left on the scene is your homie. Maybe you angrily stormed off somewhere, leaving your teary-eyed and vulnerable girl there all alone for him to console. People do stupid ass shit in such moments of weakness, and that's usually how this type of trife cheating begins. After months of constantly hanging out with someone close to your partner, it almost feels like you're subconsciously dating them too. You get to know their mannerisms and what makes them tick, minus all the sex and effort that accompanies relationships. In a fragile emotional state, some girls just flock to the nearest guy who cares, and unfortunately, it might be your boy. 


Then there's also revenge, which seems to be the main reason why girls choose to deliberately fuck their mans friend. There is truly no better way to fuck a dudes world up for a while. When a chick has been hurt, you're going to feel the wrath. Hard. Not only does she want to rip your heart out, but she wants to destroy your property, have you jumped by her brothers, and take your best man from you while she's at it. Sounds super cold, but trust me, I've seen bitches do it. 


For other ladies, it's simply a matter of being stuck in a scene and dating within the same group of friends. Just about everybody I know has hooked up with an acquaintance of their current squeeze at least somewhere down the line. You can't help but eat where you shit sometimes, especially in a city like New York where everyone in certain industries knows each other. The unwritten rule is that you should never get with your ex's friends after you’re broken up, but once it's over, many are too lazy to roam elsewhere for rebounds. Plus, some will argue that it's not fair to give up all those other fish in the sea just because their ex is friends with every single one of them.


With all of that said, if your girl got caught creeping in your best friend's bed, dump that bitch and knock dude's teeth out while you're at it. Whenever this scenario comes up, I always wonder who's more at fault—boo, who you trusted with your heart, or the homie that was like a brother to you? Like Sam Rothstein in Casino, I still can't decide, but if that kind of betrayal has ever happened to you, it's time to majorly reassess what type of people you're putting your trust in.


Tags: tabatha-mcgurr, sex-advice, relationships, married-to-the-mob, the-harsh-truth
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