You know who we like? Mariah Carey. Ok, maybe not all the time, but the pop icon has got the twos, hosts dog-cat fights in her kitchen, and likes to party. That's a girl we'd take home to our own drunken mother any day of the week.
Our girl Mimi's in the news this week after her appearance at the Palm Springs International Film Festival, where she was on hand to accept an award for her role in Precious, and got (in her words), "a little bit, um...[ed. note: we think the word she's looking for here is "drunkasshit"]." Everybody's up in arms it seems, calling MC "loopy", etc., etc. but we don't think it's that big a deal: a) since when did Palm Springs have an "International Film Festival"?; and b) we think it should be a requirement at future award shows that all nominees get drunk beforehand (especially the ones in "recovery"). In honor of Mariah bringing her drunken Long Island girl steez to the snoots in Palm Springs, we present MC's (Allegedly!) Drunkest Moments, complete with our own Tipsy Rating Scale...
1999: VMA After Party
• You see, Mariah's a fun drunk! Sure, she's developed something of a diva rep over the years, but in this clip she's just a tipsy round-the-way girl from L.I., singing along to her own song, inviting damn near the whole audience on stage, and hugging and kissing on the DJ. Now we know what ODB was talking about when he said they went back like babies with pacifiers.
2001: TRL Ice Cream "Meltdown"
• In July, 2001, MC made an unannounced appearance on MTV's TRL, handing out popsicles and startling Carson Daly with an impromptu striptease. It's hard to definitively say that Mariah was drunk, but she does look out on fans in Times Square and comment "These are just some folks on the nice street," and tells Carson: "Every now and then, somebody needs a little therapy, and today is that moment for me." Unfortunately for Mimi, Daly was not (and still isn't, far as we know) a professional therapist; for that, she checked into a New York hospital a couple weeks later, citing exhaustion (whether caused by late nights drinkin' or wired afternoons munchin' popsicles, we can't really say for sure).
Early 2000s: In the studio with Eminem
• According to Em, the the Mariah vocals you hear on "Warning" (the MC/Nick Cannon diss track he released last summer) were recorded while he and Mariah were partying during their (alleged) brief fling at the beginning of the last decade. Let's see: purple pills plus an inebriated Mariah Carey? No wonder Slim Shady relapsed.
Winter 2006-07: Shopping in Aspen
• In this surreptitiously recorded clip, Mariah kicks it with a couple of Colorado teenagers, sipping on champagne as she shops for clothes (which is certified gangster in itself). Over the course of the convo, MC relates how she quit school in 8th grade ("But I was advanced, I was 12 in 8th grade"), gets directions to some local hot spots, and monitors the number of websites her dog has (23, apparently). Again, this is an international pop star just cruising around a shopping mall sipping champagne. Gucci got nothin' on this lady.
2009: Palm Springs International Film Festival
• Mariah won the Breakthrough Actress award for her role in Precious at last night's PSIFF, and had her trophy presented by the film's director, Lee Daniels. First she gives Daniels an extra long hug (in our experience, we're usually the ones giving the awkwardly affectionate drunken embraces), and then proceeds to admit that she's drunk. Which is a big deal because...? Shit, fly us out to the California desert in the middle of winter and you'd have to wheel us off the plane.