A teaspoon of sugar helps the medicine go down and a sexy singer/dancer/pantominer helps stale pop groups sell records. It's pretty simple. Take a middling, directionally challenged musical group that can't seem to get their albums to chart, add a sexy female and BAM! Success strikes and the group will start selling out the Garden, performing for the President and their lead singer will appear as a hologram on CNN to give his take on the current political climate. Or so it went for the Black Eyed Peas when will.i.am smartened up and recruited Fergie to join the group back in '03.
Now it seems Pharrell wants to do the same with N.E.R.D. Recently, a PYT has been seen accompanying P, Chad and Shay on stage at various tour stops, leaving people wondering who she was. Then Star Trak rapper Fam-Lay was kind enough to clear up the confusion via Twitter, letting the world know that the girl in question was named Rhea and that she was the newest member of N.E.R.D. Oh yeah, and that she's dope! But just how dope is she? Is she good enough to make N.E.R.D. sell a milli and get Pharrell on MSNBC as a talking head? In other words, is she as good as Fergie? Keep reading for our comparison, then vote for your favorite token female...
SINGING
Fergie: Calling Fergie a singer would be akin to calling Sean Kingston a reggae artist. It's a bit of a stretch. Maybe the crystal meth left her vocal chords burnt out or something, who knows. All we know is that she has the vocal range of a Mack Truck.
Rhea: We haven't heard too much from this Berklee College of Music grad yet, but judging from her cover of Robin Thicke's "Lost Without U" and "Choreographer", the first single from her Clumanati Records debut , we're gonna say she's got Fergie beat.
WINNER: RHEA
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DANCING
Fergie: We can't front, Fergie can get down. She's no Shakira, but homegirl can move her hips something viscous. Too bad she's wasting all that on Josh Douchemel.
Rhea: To be fair, we haven't seen Rhea do much on stage besides jump around and look pretty. But she's Guyanese, so we're sure she can at least wine a likkle bit.
WINNER: FERGIE
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SEX APPEAL
Fergie: Despite having a face that, in the right (or wrong, rather) light, looks pretty haggard Fergie is somehow, undoubtedly sexy. Maybe it's her style, her perfectly fit body, or her two's. Or maybe it's the fact that she gives off that "savage me" look. We can't call it.
Rhea: Rhea is decidedly more attractive in the face, and has a sexy downtown chic steez—which is probably why Pharrell took a liking to her. But when she dresses up, it's a wrap. No contest. Where as Fergie puts her freakiness on front street, Rhea has that lady in the streets, freak in the bed look going on. We like.
WINNER: RHEA
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POP POTENTIAL
Fergie: Seeing as how she's already had three #1 singles and a triple platinum debut solo album, we think her pop potential has already been realized. It's yet to be seen if she can recreate the success of The Dutchess, but we're gonna go ahead and bet on white with this one.
Rhea: As talented as she is, there are two things working against her road to stardom. 1. She's signed to DJ Clue's Cluemanti label and 2. Pharrell's track record when it comes to launching the careers of new artists is pretty damn horrible. She'd have an equal chance coming out on Tru Warrior records.
WINNER:TIE
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VALUE TO THE GROUP
Fergie: Being that we don't know anyone in the group besides her and will.i.am, we're gonna have to go out on a limb here and say she's indispensable. Seriously, when was the last time you saw apl.de.ap or Taboo in the news? If one of them walked past you on the street would you know who they were? Didn't think so.
Rhea: Since she just joined, it's hard to say how important to the group she will be. But since Chad's a mute, Pharrell can't really sing (or rap) and we're not sure what it is that Shay really does, it couldn't hurt to have a talented vocalist in the group.
WINNER: TIE
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