Keep holding your breath, America: Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are not engaged! JT addressed the rumors that we were completely unaware of on Oprah Friday--but that didn't stop JB from, uh, going diamond shopping (we can pass along secondhand news as well as anyone, thun!). Presumptuous or not, it raises the inevitable question: is Biel a wifey or a trifey? Check out reasoning below, then vote for yourself...

WIFEY: She's Turned On Her Heartlight
As co-founder with her father of the Make the Difference Network, she tries to connect small charity organization with donors--because everyone deserves a chance. We agree, but she just won't answer our e-mails.

TRIFEY: ...And Her High Beams
One too many wet-clothes Roles for our comfort. Not that we don't enjoy watching them, we just don't know if we'd be so down with the Nippledemus & Pliers act if we were her man. Diddly-whoa-oh-ohhhh!
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DarylStrawberry March 30th, 2009 at 08:43 PM
the ass done did it
modi March 31st, 2009 at 12:35 PM
the baddest female (of the caucasian persuasion) in the industry apart from scarlett johannson.
Bob March 31st, 2009 at 03:57 PM
She has so much more substance than other chicks. Plus, can you imagine how beautiful the kids they have will be?? I'm not gay or anything, but JT is a good looking guy, and she is slamming hot, so the kids will be gorgeous. Good for them. I just hope she bounces back from the eventual birth the way Salma Hayek did. It would be a shame to lose her body to the rigors of childbirth.
Benson April 17th, 2009 at 01:05 AM
She looks like a tranny, and has little to no talent. Why do you think this ho has substance?