If you didn't already know, there are certain women that are just family here. And one of them, of course, is Kim Kardashian. The big (in all the right places) homie has the newest season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians popping off on Sunday, and more importantly she's in the process of cooking up some more headcrack ish with us.
So in the meantime, we thought we'd tide you over with the latest installment in our Complex 7 series, in which celebrity and weed carrier alike answers the same battery of exhaustive and probing questions. We're ready for our close-up, Pulitzer committee...
#1: WHAT'S THE NUMBER ONE DEAL-BREAKER FOR A POTENTIAL BOYFRIEND?
Kim Says: Physically, I'd say like they have to have good teeth. I'm really into teeth and hygiene, like they just have to smell good. Personality-wise, if you can just tell they're flaky or shady, that's just, no. Run the other way.
#2: WHAT TYPE OF FOOTWEAR WOULD MAKE YOU COMPLETELY DISMISS A MAN AS A POTENTIAL HOOK-UP?
Kim Says: The other day in Tampa, this guy wanted to meet my sister Kourtney and we went into the restroom and I was like, "He's really cute," and then we both said'I swear, at the same time' "but his shoes!" He was wearing these like square-ish brown shoes, like we couldn't even describe it but we were like that's it. He's totally a geek. They were in between a dressy shoe to wear with jeans, just like a big clunky square-toe shoe and it was just so hideous'and I really can't even remember the last time I like commented on someone's like awful shoes! It was a wrap after that.
#3: WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE RAP ALBUM?
Kim Says: What was the name of like Biggie's album like really popular one? I'd say Life After Death. We loved that.
#4: WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COMFORT FOOD OR HANGOVER REMEDY?
Kim Says: I don't drink alcohol, so I don't know. My sister's hangover remedy is McDonald's. My comfort food has got to be...I love Armenian food. There's these like cheese things, I wouldn't know how to even spell it if I said it for you. They're like these, they're called cheese bags. [Laughs.] I don't even know how to spell it! Oh, it's just like the shish-kebab and the rice and this like cheese thing. [Ed. Note'we think she's talking about cheese bÃƒÂ¶rek.] There's this hole in the wall Armenian restaurant that I take all my friends to on every birthday. We spend all of our birthdays there. It's on Hollywood Boulevard and it was like my dad's favorite restaurant, but all my friends have fallen in love with it. And like you eat on these like plastic plates, it's like such a hole in the wall. So authentic, and so good. We all ate there on Election night, all my friends.
#5: YOU DON'T DRINK, SO IT'S NOT ALCOHOL THAT LOWERS YOUR INHIBITIONS, BUT WHAT'S THE MOST EFFECTIVE APHRODISIAC FOR YOU?
Kim Says: It's not that I don't drink, I just hate alcohol. But there's this one spot, this place called Casa Vega that I love the margaritas and if I have a sip I feel like I'm like wasted. So I'd definitely say like that margarita, that spot.
#6: WHO'S A CHILDHOOD CRUSH YOU CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAD?
Kim Says: Mmm. Let me think about this, maybe like Joey Lawrence. Oh my god, so embarrassing. And I was like obsessed with Leonardo di Caprio when he first came out on Growing Pains. I know, it's weird'my taste isn't like what people think. I'm like most attracted to blonde boys, guys with dirty blonde hair.
#7: RIIIIGHT. WHO'S YOUR WOMAN CRUSH?
Kim Says: Megan Fox. She is so stunningly beautiful, I don't think I've ever seen anyone prettier than her.