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"I WILL F*CKING ASSAULT YOU!"

Date: 4/17/2013
School: University of Maryland
Party girl: Rebecca Martinson

As Patrick Henry's "Give me liberty or give me death" speech was to the American Revolution, sorority girl Rebecca Martinson's "I will fucking cunt punt the next person I hear about doing something [awkward], and I don't give a fuck if you SOR me, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU" email was to inspiring sisterly love between the young ladies of Delta Gamma. 

After a few "FUCKING BORING" and "AWKWARD" sisters failed to impress during a handful of "Greek Week" activities, Martinson channeled her inner The Kid Mero with a profanity-laced, all caps email to her entire sorority chapter. Quotable excerpts include:

    • "...punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to fucking find you on campus to do it myself."
    • "Are you people fucking retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore night time events."
    • "And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a fuck. Go fuck yourself."

Ultimately, and sadly, the email's notoriety led to Martinson's dismissal from the organization. Without their waify, Vince Lombardi-like leader, we're sure the girls of Delta Gamma still SUCK, WE REPEAT, LITERALLY FUCKING SUCK. 

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