5. Mokai Lounge
Address: 235 23rd St.
This mini-club of SoBe has a porn-chic vibe going for it. With alligator skin couches, chain drapes, and strategically placed stuffed tigers, it is truly a d-bag's take on "keeping it classy." Mokai reps brag about it being the tightest knit club in Miami, stating that there's no separation of cliques in this club—and they're right. That's because there is absolutely no room in this space, allowing Ed Hardy-repping goons every opportunity to get some skin-on-skin contact. With just over 200 people squeezing in here nightly, you'll be grinded on and felt up more in this tiny club than you did at a middle school dance. Enjoy.