11. Bongo's Cuban Cafe
Address: 601 Biscayne Blvd.
Ah, Bongo's. It's shaped like a pineapple and owned by Gloria Estefan. Home to "celebrity sightings" (referring only to the one time Farrah from Teen Mom took a picture with Trina here), this is where newly-legal girls go to get hammered for free. Pour one out for the those young'uns living the douche life at a tender age. Older men will buy anybody that makes eye contact with them a drink, and these PYTs? They know not what they do. Bongo's is also attached to the America Airlines Arena, home to the Miami Heat. Heat fans who aren't cool enough to be invited to any post-game parties (*cough* Drake *cough*) will dub Bongo's the after-party spot and stumble over for an evening of mistakes. Also beware of the photographers here, who inexplicably subject you to their flash at every turn. With a patio out back that is perfect for a nice nap once your Red Bull and vodkas have stopped working, be sure to remind your friends not to leave without you. If you wake up alone at 4 a.m., you'll surely swear you're in purgatory.