How to Piss Off Your Co-Workers in 15 Easy Steps

13. Never Call in Sick

No one's impressed with your ability to rally to the office with a rare strain of bird flu. In fact, those of us breathing the same circulating air think you're a jackass. Because of shared bathrooms, kitchens, and meeting spaces, the office is a Gathering of the Juggalos-like breeding ground for infectious disease. Everyone wants to retire early, but not because they were bequeathed with a flesh eating virus. 

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