8. "These Were the Best Four Years of Your Life."
Damn, we hope not. From being excluded from frat parties and gaining the freshman fifteen when you arrive, to being so busy writing theses your senior year that you have no time to explore those newly husky freshmen, college is rough. You are guaranteed to live in an awful apartment. Your dining options are limited to "buffet style" and "a la carté." You're required to take classes you don't like, taught by bitter jerks who don't like you because you don't understand their obscure field. Every day is filled with nagging, persistent doubt that plagues you as you navigate swarms of petition-toting, folk guitar-playing, hacky sack-kicking classmates. And you can't even legally drink for the first several years of it.
But, oh yeah, that's much worse that living where you want, with who you want, how you want for the rest of your life. If these are the best four years of your life, we truly pity you.