2. The Badass T.A.
If you go to a large school, your professor will be too busy chasing grant money to be bothered with class. So you'll end up at the mercy of a frenzied graduate student who takes attendance and grades on a curve. Look at this guy. You can see a 40% fail rate in his eyes. Any guy brazen enough to pull off those glasses is definitely assigning a term paper over Spring Break. This can't be life.