1. Saints and Sinners
Address: 627 Bourbon St.
S and S owner Channing Tatum claims to be from New Orleans. If that's really true (and we hear it isn't), he must hate his hometown more than the bros hated Magic Mike. This Bourbon Street douche magnet loves a theme night like a stripper loves the Super Bowl being in town. From "Madam Mondays" to "Ladies Night Thursdays" to "Red Light Fridays," local and visiting douches alike flock to this weak re-creation of a brothel for even weaker drinks with creative names like "Silk Panties," "Sex on the Balcony," and "Red Hottie Velvet Cake" (Channing's favorite). If you need more proof of the douchiness level, please do the world a favor and shoot yourself in the face immediately.