5. Parlays Dream Lounge
Address: 870 Harrison Ave.
Yes, the brilliant marketers of this douche-fest managed to come up with the clever tagline "Come and get Parlaid!" Nestled in the family-friendly and nondescript Lakeview neighborhood, Parlays has a knack for appealing to the nondescript douchebag neighbors who come to watch sports, slam Jager bombs, bro hug more than the Sons Of Anarchy, and drunk drive only a few blocks to their douche pad. Their claim to fame is having the longest bar in New Orleans. Why is that significant? Because they can hold more douches at the bar than any other. Congratulations dudes.