17. Coyote Ugly Saloon
Address: 501 East 6th St.
Remember that really shitty movie from around the turn of the century where an aspiring female songwriter gets a job at an all-female NYC bar known for ruthlessly cockteasing its male patrons and—voila!— comes out of her shell? No? Well it doesn’t matter, because the Coyote Ugly isn’t that. Sure, the bartenders are mostly women (we think) and they’ll jump up on the bar and do a little dance for you, but it’s the dance of desperation, a dance so tragically scripted and rote that only the lamest of oblivious posers would stick around to watch. We've only done it once, and we're still heavy with regret.