11. Peanut butter, cookie butter or any of the assorted flavored butters
The thrill here surely lies in being able to scoop a glob of peanut (or whatever) butter from the jar and promptly eat it without Mom seeing. But now that you're at college, there are plenty of things – rebellious things – you could be doing that are infinitely more worth your while. Try watching an R-rated film. Or smoking a blunt. Or watching and R-rated film while smoking a blunt. Upon re-opening the refigerator door, you'll notice, the peanut (or whatever) butter will surely be waiting there, now calling your name. A stomachache will likely ensue, but you'll be too distracted by the rush of having disobeyed your parents for the first time to notice.